


When You Need Me Most

by sagegallows



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Angst, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, Explicit Sexual Content, Flashbacks, Identity Issues, M/M, Oral Sex, Past Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Slow Burn, Trans Male Character, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, grumpy turians, slight PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:20:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagegallows/pseuds/sagegallows
Summary: "There's an old belief asari have." she explained. "We outlive many species, and we believe that, once we meet that one special person—our destined loved one—they continue to watch over us when they pass, and they send others to us, to fill the void they left behind."He's not Shepard, but he fills a void in him that Garrus never thought could be filled again.
Relationships: Garrus Vakarian/Original Male Character(s), Male Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	1. ONE

**Author's Note:**

> Some important things of note:  
> \- Turians live much longer than humans in this fic compared to canon  
> \- Garrus is a grumpy old man God bless him  
> \- New love interest is FTM and uses he/him pronouns  
> \- This fic takes place (roughly) 200 years after the Reaper War. A lot of stuff has changed in the galaxy that will be mentioned as plainly as possible to avoid confusion
> 
> Some info on this fic's Shepard:  
> \- Default fem!Shep appearance (the red hair will be mentioned more than once jsyk)  
> \- Paragon/Earthborn/War Hero/Sentinel  
> \- Destroyed the Reapers

_Primarch Vakarian,_

_I hope this message finds you well. As you know, I recently had the honor of becoming the department head of the College of Psychology at Hesava University. It has been a great adventure so far, and I have met such wonderful faculty and students during my short time here. I also serve as a mentor for the students, and some of them are searching for internships. I have one student in particular who wishes to work in interspecies relationships at the Embassy, specifically in human and turian relationships. They told me their goal is to be a human ambassador to ensure that political affairs remain peaceful and that the alliance between humans and turians remains strong. I thought that was an admiral goal, one that few humans are brave enough to take on. Hundreds of years have passed, and yet some humans still feel disdain for turians. A shame, isn’t it? Excuse me, I’m getting off topic._

_Since my student must complete an internship before graduating, I wanted to find them an internship working in turian politics, because I think it would give them great experience to the inner machinations of turian politics if that is truly the field they wish to work in. And, as my luck would have it, I happen to be good friends with the turian Primarch himself. It would honor me greatly if you would hire the student as an intern in your administration. They wouldn’t have to do much, in fact, humans seem to be willing to do the most menial tasks in the name of an internship, so I’m sure my student would be more than happy to do whatever you wish of them. It would be a great experience for them, and it would benefit the human/turian alliance should they allow a new face in the Embassy. I have attached their resume. Please look it over and get back with me with your decision._

_Best wishes,_

_Dr. Liara T’Soni_

_Dean of Students, College of Psychology, Hesava University_

_Also,_

_I truly hope you’re doing well. We should speak more often._

_Also also,_

_I know things about you that would crumple the reputation of your family for generations. Remember that._

_Blackmail? Really, Liara?_

Garrus sighed, leaning back in his chair. He thought Liara should ditch signing her emails with her legal profession and instead sign them with “Liara T’Soni, Shadow Broker and Destroyer of Lives.” It’s not like it was any great secret that Liara was the Shadow Broker and had been for two hundred years. Garrus still did not understand how Liara could juggle so many jobs at once when he could barely handle being the Primarch some days. He looked out the window of his office, distracting himself with the silent ships and cars flying by, all on different routes through Hope Embassy.

He had not been on the board that decided what to name the new Citadel knockoff. If he had, he wouldn’t have agreed to that spirits-awful name.

Garrus begrudgingly returned to the task at hand, looking back at Liara’s message. And just what made her think he would even consider the offer? That must have been why she put in the blackmail. He knew Liara would never go through with it, but the threat was still there. She knew things about him that would disgrace the entire turian population. Especially that one time with that one batarian…he shuddered at the memory. Shaking off the thought, Garrus entertained Liara’s offer and opened the resume. This human must have made quite the impression on Liara for her to even recommend them to him.

_Johnson, S._

_Senior psychology major at Hesava University_

_3.9 GPA_

Garrus fluttered his one good mandible in confusion. What, did humans not name their kids anymore? Just gave them a single letter and sent them on their way? He shook his head to himself. He knew he was getting old, but this seemed ridiculous.

Garrus scrolled down to the rest of the resume. Even he had to admit that this kid was impressive. Great grades in their classes, a good list of extracurricular activities, reputable references (not only Liara, but even a salarian, and spirits knows those people are serious about academics), and a good list of previous experience. They were practically the human version of Liara. No wonder she liked them so much. And, Garrus had to admit, wanting to be a peaceful ambassador for the human/turian alliance was admirable; it wasn’t a career many humans wanted, let alone a job they wanted once they realized they would have to deal with Garrus.

Garrus thought the offer over in his head. There were plenty of people working for the Primarch administration, meaning, if he took the human in, he wouldn’t have to deal with them directly. He could pawn them off on one of his assistants. Maybe Nepiria. She was better at dealing with people than he was. And her mate was a human, so she could handle this kid and their weird human tendencies to talk and talk and _talk_.

Garrus sighed to himself. Was he really going to do this? He avoided humans as much as he could in recent years. It was easier to have someone in his office deal with them unless he absolutely had to. He hated speaking with human politicians because they were greedy, narcissistic scumbags, and he especially hated dealing with human military because… 

Garrus shook his head again. _Focus, Vakarian_.

He knew if he thought too much about it then he wouldn’t go through with it. Perhaps Liara caught him on a day when his sleep deprivation was really messing with his brain, for he reopened Liara’s email and typed a hasty reply, quickly hitting send and squeezing his eyes shut. Another migraine was coming on, he could feel it.

_Liara,_

_Send the kid over for an interview. I won’t make any promises, but I’ll at least talk to them. Call Nepiria and she’ll schedule something._

_G_

ꭥꭥꭥꭥ

The kid was terrified.

The kid turned out to be a young man, all scrawny limbs and a height much taller than the average human with a curly mop of dark red curls on top of his head. Did he dye his hair? Garrus knew enough about humans to know their hair wasn’t naturally that color red. Even her hair was naturally dark brown, having to re-dye it that red color when her natural color showed too much.

_“I don’t get it. Why would you change your hair color?”_

_“Why do turians wear markings on their face?”_

_“…to represent the colony they come from.”_

_“Oh. I thought you just liked the way it looked.”_

_“You have to be joking.”_

_“Anyway! Humans like to change things up every once in a while. You don’t like it?”_

Oh no, he _loved_ it.

Garrus shook himself out of his thoughts, returning to the task at hand. He glanced up at the kid, Johnson. He still hadn’t learned what his first name was. Nepiria had scheduled the interview for 13:00, and the kid showed up thirty minutes early. Hey, at least he was punctual. Garrus was sipping on his afternoon coffee—it still amazed him they made dextro-friendly coffee now—and looking over emails when Nepiria barged into his office with an anxious human in tow. Nepiria quickly introduced the kid as the student referred to by Liara and left as quickly as she came. Which was how Garrus ended up staring up at the human in the first place and noting how he was shaking in fear.

“You can sit down, you know.” Garrus gestured to one of the empty chairs in front of his desk.

The kid plopped into a chair, his light blue eyes wide with awe at the size of Garrus' office as he looked around. Garrus smirked to himself. Being the Primarch came with some perks.

“Forgive me,” Garrus caught the kid’s attention. “I know little about you beyond your resume. I don’t even know your given name.” Garrus really hoped the new human trend wasn’t to name their kids single letters and that he hadn’t just offended the kid.

The kid looked confused, his brows flickering downwards, but he shrugged it off, trying to play it cool. Humans were way too easy to read, Garrus surmised. “I guess Dr. T’Soni left my name out for privacy’s sake.” he guessed, his voice soft.

“That still doesn’t tell me your name.” Garrus replied, taking another sip of his coffee before setting it down on the table, keeping the mug in his hand for warmth. His hands had been feeling so cold lately. He heard it was a sign of aging in turians. He really hoped that wasn’t the case.

The kid’s eyebrows rose. “Oh!” he gasped, his cheeks turning pink with embarrassment. Hers did that, too, when she was embarrassed. Sometimes the tips of her ears would turn pink. “I’m sorry, Mister Vakarian! My name is Shepard.”

The mug in Garrus' hand shattered, spilling hot coffee all over his hands and the desk.

“Johnson!” the kid quickly exclaimed, hands lifting in surprise and jumping out of his seat. “My name is Shepard Johnson!” he reiterated.

Garrus didn’t move as the kid— _Shepard_ , spirits be damned—quickly scrambled about to find a tissue or paper towel to clean up the coffee with. Garrus was no longer looking at the kid, instead keeping his gaze on the broken coffee mug.

That was why Liara left the kid’s name out of his resume.

“Leave it.” Garrus demanded, his voice low and his subvocals growling, but the kid—was he really going to call him _Shepard_?—thankfully couldn’t hear the subvocals. If he had, then he would have run out of the office in even more fear than he was already experiencing. “Someone else will clean it up.” he added.

Shepard—there’s no way he’s calling the kid that—froze in place, eyes wide as he looked to Garrus. “Oh! O-okay!” he squeaked out, his voice tense with anxiety as he sat back down in his chair. He fidgeted his fingers together once he was seated, and Garrus could see the beginnings of sweat along his hairline. “I—uh, I’m sorry if I said something wrong—”

“Don’t worry about it.” Garrus stated bluntly, wanting the conversation to end and for the kid to get the hell out of his office.

“It’s—it’s a very common human name, y’know.” Like all humans, this kid just _had_ to keep talking. Garrus learned that most humans didn’t know when to shut up when they were nervous. “In high school, I was in a graduating class of four-hundred, and nearly half of us were named Shepard.” he chuckled awkwardly, trying to ease the tension.

Garrus' mandible flicked. Was that true? In the coming years, would he have to deal with politicians, dignitaries, _military_ named Shepard? Was he going to be surrounded by humans that had her name? That considered her worthy enough to wear her name like a badge of honor?

She would have hated that.

_“They wanna name a school after me in my hometown. A school! Don’t they know I dropped_ out _of school to join the Alliance?”_

_Focus, Vakarian._ It’s not the kid’s fault his parents named him after her.

“Why do you want to work in turian affairs?”

The sudden question took the kid off guard. His eyes remained wide as saucers and his hands were still shaking, but he quickly composed himself and answered, his response rehearsed. “My dad is a human representative in the Embassy, and he always speaks highly of the turians he works with. I studied turian history in school, and the culture and work ethic fascinated me. I even did a study abroad program in Palaven last year.”

Garrus nearly snorted out loud at the visual of the kid in a hazmat suit. Humans couldn’t survive the extreme heats of Palaven. Hopefully they kept him inside at all times. “You grew up in Hesava though. An asari city.” Garrus commented. “Why didn’t you live here in the Embassy?” 

“My dad wanted me to live on a planet instead of an artificial world. Said he wanted me to ‘breathe real air’ and all that. My mom is from Hesava, so they decided it would be best for me to grow up there.” the kid explained.

Garrus nodded once. Even though the kid was clearly not asari, he didn’t question what a human was doing on an asari planet. After the Reaper War, everything went mandibles up and what was left of the galaxy’s population was spread out in places they normally didn’t belong. If a soldier was stationed on one particular planet when the war ended, chances were they stayed there afterwards to help rebuild regardless of what species they were. Garrus had even heard of turians who never set foot on a turian planet, and were born and raised on Earth. It was weird to him, but completely normal to the majority of the galaxy. Especially ones who weren’t alive during the war. Like this kid. The one with _her_ name.

“Why did you choose psychology?” Garrus asked, using his training as a soldier to force himself through the rest of the interview. The kid wasn’t the only one who was shaking, he was just better at hiding it.

ꭥꭥꭥꭥ

The line rang twice before it was answered.

“Good evening, Primarch, how was the—”

“You didn’t tell me his name.” Garrus growled into the speaker.

Liara didn’t even pause at Garrus' tone. “If I had, you wouldn’t have agreed to interview him.”

“If I _had_ , I wouldn’t have scared the living shit out of the kid and almost gave myself a heart attack.” Garrus' mandible was flaring uncontrollably. If Liara could hear his subvocals, she would have been trembling at the magnitude of Garrus' anger. Or not. Most likely not, Garrus thought to himself. Nothing scared Liara anymore. Coming face-to-face with a Reaper did that to people.

Liara chuckled. “Oh, yes, he mentioned that.”

“You’ve already spoken to him?”

“He called me when the interview was over. Poor thing sounded like he was about to cry. You really did a number on him, Garrus.” Liara chastised. Had Garrus made this a video call, he was certain she would wag her finger at him.

“Excuse me for being surprised.” Garrus deadpanned.

“Surely you know how popular that name is for humans, don’t you?” Liara asked. Garrus heard the sounds of papers shuffling and keyboards tapping. She must have been working when he called. He should have been working, too, but he would stay late in his office if it meant he could vent to Liara.

“The only humans I interact with nowadays look like they were alive during the war. What do you think?” Garrus snarled. He knew he was overreacting, but he was still so shaken up that there are kids out there being named after the love of his—

_Focus, Vakarian._

Liara made an amused noise. “The first human born after the war was named Shepard, and that’s when the trend started. That means there’s two-hundred years worth of humans out there named Shepard, and you’re just now coming into contact with them.” Liara laughed. “You really need to get out more, Garrus.”

“A little warning would have helped.”

Liara sighed. “Very well. It was poor judgment, and I’m sorry. There, happy?”

“Good enough.” Garrus shrugged. The only turians who shrugged were the ones around humans for an extended period of time. Shrugging was a uniquely human thing.

“So, what did you think of him?”

“What did he tell you?” Garrus shot back.

Liara stopped typing on her computer. “He said that you absolutely terrify him, as I’m sure you can guess.” she paused. “But he still wants to work for you. He said if he can get over his fear of you then he’ll be able to handle any turian.” she chuckled.

“He never met my father. He doesn’t know how bad it can be.” Garrus retorted.

“So, what did you think of him?” Liara tried again.

Garrus sighed, leaning back in his chair, thinking over the interview again. He was just about to reply when Liara spoke up again.

“And don’t you dare mention his name. If his name was anything else, what would you say about the interview?”

Garrus shut his mouth. This wasn’t the first time he wondered if asari could read minds. He would say he couldn’t work with the kid, not with that name. It would be too much. Too…painful. Two-hundred spirits-damned years and he still hurt. 

Garrus sighed again, reminding himself that it wasn’t the kid’s fault that he was named after her. His parents thought so highly of her they named their child after her. She would have hated the fact that it was so popular, but he knew deep down she would have been honored. “He…wasn’t terrible.” he began.

“He’s a wonderful student.” Liara corrected.

Garrus breathed out a laugh. “You really like the kid, huh?”

“This isn’t about what I think of him.” Liara reminded him. “Continue.”

Garrus scratched at his bad mandible, the one that didn’t work anymore. It still hurt from time to time, but he was still grateful for Miranda and her team for patching him back up to the best of their abilities. “He seems like a good kid. I can tell he’s got a great work ethic.”

“He won’t disappoint.” Liara interjected.

“I thought this was supposed to be about what _I_ thought of him?” Garrus chuckled.

Liara laughed. “You’re right, forgive me. Go on.”

“He seems like he has a good head on his shoulders. I’m sure everyone here would like him.” with Garrus being the exception. He didn’t hate the kid, but he couldn’t get over what he represented. A world without her.

“So…?” Liara trailed.

“So what?” Garrus asked.

“Are you offering him the internship?”

Garrus didn’t answer for a long while, and Liara waited. He was a seemingly good kid. Liara thought the galaxy of him, obviously. One didn’t achieve that honor for nothing, Garrus knew that much. If he hadn’t been named Shepard, Garrus would have hired him on the spot. He could admit that. And that wasn’t fair to the kid. The kid… _Shepard_ had an admirable goal, and a worthy dream. Garrus would only be the bad guy for stomping on that dream just because of his name.

“Fuck it.” Garrus sighed. “Call the kid and tell him he’s got the internship. He can start tomorrow morning. I’ll have Nepiria train him.”

Liara actually squealed. Garrus had never heard her make that noise before. It was a very Tali-esque noise. “Oh, he’ll be so happy! Thank you, Garrus! He’s an excellent student, I know you’ll just love him!” 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. Now go call the kid before I change my mind.” Garrus spoke through Liara’s continuous thanks as he ended the call, shaking his head to himself. He could feel another migraine coming on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can tell, I've thought a lot about what the galaxy would be like after the Reaper War lol, but if anything doesn't make sense or isn't clear feel free to ask and I'll try to explain as best as I can :) Also kudos to y'all who noticed my lack of originality by including the default male!Shep's name in Shepard's last name lmao
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


	2. TWO

“Uh, Nepiria, what is this?”

First thing in the morning and Garrus' day was already starting off odd. Inside his office just by the door was a brand new desk with a brand new computer on and ready for the day. That definitely wasn’t there when he left his office the night before.

“It’s for the new guy.” Nepiria answered nonchalantly with a shrug of her shoulders. She never made fun of Garrus picking up human habits because she had picked up just as many from her human partner.

“Uh…you’re the one who’s supposed to be training him.” Garrus reminded her. He had texted her after offering the kid the internship to tell her she would train him during his first couple of days.

“He’s not an intern to be the assistant to the Primarch, sir.” Nepiria replied, still sounding unbothered by Garrus' annoyed subvocals. “He wants to work in human/turian relations, and he’s not gonna learn that from answering phone calls all day. He’s gotta learn from you.”

“You realize I have an assistant _because_ of how poorly I handle relations with _any_ species, right?” Garrus asked, wondering if Nepiria had hit her head particularly hard on something that morning and caused memory loss.

Nepiria shrugged again. “You’re the Primarch, not me. This kid’s gonna be working in politics, and I know jack-shit about politics.”

A soft knock on the door took the two out of their conversation, turning to see the new intern in question had arrived. He looked just as terrified as he had during his interview, making Garrus wonder if he just naturally looked like that. Although the kid was much taller than the average human, Garrus and Nepiria still towered over him, which probably didn’t help his nerves. “G-good morning.” he greeted softly.

“Good morning, Shepard!” Nepiria replied cheerfully, making Garrus inwardly wince. Nepiria loved humans, especially young ones like the kid. She said they reminded her of puppies. Nepiria also loved puppies. “And congratulations on the internship! I hope you get a lot out of this experience!”

The kid— _he has a name, dammit_ —smiled shyly at Nepiria. Garrus could see where she got the puppy comparison from. “Thank you,” he replied, his voice still soft. “where can I put my things?”

“Right here!” Nepiria answered before Garrus could, gesturing to the new desk. “You’ll be staying here in the Primarch’s office so you’ll have firsthand experience of what it’s like to work in turian politics.”

The kid’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Really? That’s awesome! Thanks, Miss Nepiria.”

“Oh, don’t thank me. This was all the Primarch’s idea.” Nepiria clapped Garrus on the shoulder, blatantly ignoring his glare and growling subvocals. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of assignments to get done today. Have fun, Shepard, and don’t be afraid to ask for help!” With one final word to the kid, Nepiria left the office and closed the door behind her, leaving Garrus alone with his new intern.

The kid tentatively put his things down on the desk, seeming uncomfortable in Garrus' office. He didn’t blame the kid, considering Garrus was doing nothing to make the kid feel more at home in his new workplace. Garrus went back to his desk without a word to the kid, wondering if he could call Liara and say he changed his mind about the internship.

“Um…Mister Vakarian?” the kid called.

“Yeah?” Garrus answered, though the reply came out as more of a noncommittal grunt than an actual word.

“Uh…what do you want me to do today?” he asked.

_Shit._ Garrus hadn’t thought of that. The kid needed to actually _work_ while he was in the office. Then again, this _was_ supposed to be Nepiria’s job. She would have something for him to do. But no. She dumped the kid on Garrus. He would get her back for that. “Uh…” Garrus pondered, going over the list of things he had to do for the day. “I’ve got a meeting with turian military officials about expanding borders in the Traverse, you can listen in on that to get a feel for how turian meetings go.” he already knew it would differ from any human meeting the kid had been in. Turians preferred actual work to get done than ass-kissing.

“Really?” the kid squeaked, causing Garrus to look over at the kid. His eyes were sparkling with excitement. Garrus laughed under his breath. Humans were so easy to entertain sometimes. “That’s so cool.” the kid breathed.

_“So your mandibles are actually used for talking?”_

_“Yeah. Back before we developed language, our mandibles were used to express our emotions. We call them subvocals. Only turians can hear them. We still use them, but it’s mostly involuntary. That’s why they move without us knowing sometimes.”_

_“Really? That’s so cool.”_

“Just remember that everything here is kept confidential, alright?” Garrus told the kid, forcing himself to focus. “You already signed the NDA, right?”

The kid nodded vigorously. “Liara sent it to me last night, and I gave it to the secretary this morning when I came in.” he answered.

“Good. I’ll send you the link to join the meeting so you can watch from your computer.” Garrus didn’t want the kid hovering over his shoulder during the meeting. “The meeting will probably last until the afternoon, then you can take a lunch break.” 

“Sounds good to me! Thanks, Mister Vakarian.” the kid beamed, showing the widest smile Garrus had seen from him yet. 

Garrus had to admit, it was a contagious one. He could feel his good mandible fluttering involuntarily in response. Only one other human smile had ever made him have such an involuntary reaction before. 

_“So you don’t know that your mandibles flare up when I smile at you? I always thought you were smiling back.”_

_“Turians don’t smile. We can’t.”_

_“So what does it mean, then? When they move like that when I smile at you?”_

_“I guess…it means I’m happy.”_

_“That’s adorable.”_

_“Shut up.”_

He would give anything to see that smile again.

_Focus, Vakarian._

He turned back to his computer, sending the kid the link to join the meeting. Captain Victus sent Garrus an email saying he would join the meeting soon. Garrus was always happy to speak with Captain Agrius Victus. It was just a shame that Adrien died before learning that his son, Tarquin, had a son who was living up to the Victus name. Agrius was a good young man, soon to be promoted to General without a doubt. Agrius led a platoon dedicated to expanding turian territories, or reclaiming old territories lost during the war. So much damage had been done in such a short war that the citizens of the galaxy were still recovering two-hundred years later.

Garrus joined the meeting first, followed by the kid. Garrus noted the kid’s username was _shepard_j_ , which Garrus was certain would be noticed by Agrius. At least Agrius never knew Shepard. Had it been Adrien in the meeting, he would have had the same reaction that Garrus did upon learning the kid’s name. 

Agrius joined the meeting shortly after Garrus and the kid did, greeting Garrus immediately. “Good morning, Primarch.”

“Good morning, Captain.” Garrus greeted, seeing that the kid had his mic muted. _Probably for the best_ , Garrus thought to himself. “Allow me to introduce my new intern, Shepard Johnson.” he introduced, his teeth grinding when he said the kid’s name. He would never get used to it, he just knew it. “He’s studying at Hesava to work in interspecies relations in the Embassy, specifically human/turian relations. He’s here to learn more about turian politics.”

“Wow, Hesava, huh? That’s a tough school to get into, congrats!” Agrius had inherited Tarquin’s carefree personality, something Garrus knew Adrien would have dramatically sighed over. “I guess if you’re going to learn about turian politics, the Primarch’s office is the best place to do it.” he chuckled.

The kid unmuted his mic. “Y-yeah, I’m really honored Mister Vakarian allowed me this opportunity.” 

“He certainly _sounds_ human, but his name already gave that away.” Agrius laughed. Garrus supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised that Agrius already knew about the name’s popularity. Agrius was much younger than he and had probably grown up around younger generations of humans than Garrus was used to interacting with. “One of my best friends is mated to a Shepard. She scares me.”

The kid chuckled. “Yeah, most Shepard’s are…quite intimidating. I think it’s in the name.” 

Now, _that_ , she would have been proud of.

“It’s a good name to have, at least. I’m sure you’ll live up to it once you’re in the Embassy.” Agrius complimented, and Garrus could see the kid’s cheeks turning pink in the corner of his eye. “So, Primarch, you wanted a report about border expansion?” Agrius asked, effortlessly changing the topic. The kid muted his mic.

“Yes, Captain, if you don’t mind.” Garrus said, opening the file Agrius sent him, seeing a map of the Attican Traverse documenting where the turian military had been since the last report. Garrus forwarded the file to the kid so he could see what they were talking about.

“In our last report, you wanted my platoon and I to take back Equibia.” Agrius reminded Garrus, to which he nodded, even though Agrius couldn’t see it. Equibia had been in the process of becoming a turian colony when the war started, meaning all colonization efforts were halted prematurely. The turian military was just now able to work on reclaiming the colony. “We made it to Equibia, but it had been taken over by yahg. They put up quite a fight, but we took back the colony.”

“How long had the yahg been there?” Garrus asked.

“Not long. Maybe a hundred years.” Agrius answered. “Some agreed to turian citizenship, but others resisted. No casualties on our side.” 

“Good.” Garrus praised. “How many of our people will stay in Equibia?”

“About one hundred to start out with, working with the yahg to make the colony habitable. Turian scientists and doctors have already landed here and will examine the wildlife and environment to see how much it’s changed since we were last here.” Agrius explained.

“Any artifacts left behind from the war?” Garrus asked. Many important documents were lost during the war, and part of the border expansion and re-colonization efforts were done so to find any missing pieces of turian history.

“The yahg had cleaned everything out, unfortunately. All that remains are buildings built before the war.” Agrius sadly admitted. “It’s a shame. Equibia was our last colonization effort before the war, and to see it destroyed by the yahg…” 

“I understand, Captain. It’s a shame to see pieces of our history lost forever.” They were lucky enough that they could restore Palaven to its original glory, but not everything could be recovered. Some things, material and organic, were lost forever. “But we have to keep moving forward, it’s the turian way.” 

The meeting went on in a similar fashion, with Agrius going over the efforts the turian military was making to claim new planets and reclaim old planets. Garrus ended the meeting with orders for Agrius to head to Plalio next, an ancient turian planet that had been abandoned centuries before the war in hopes of finding history or artifacts that the Reapers hadn’t destroyed. The kid remained quiet the entire time, focusing on how Garrus and Agrius spoke to each other, and even taking notes from time to time. Garrus would have to make sure he wasn’t writing anything confidential. 

The meeting ended with a farewell from Agrius and Garrus, with Agrius even saying his goodbyes to the kid before exiting the meeting. Agrius was a good man and an excellent soldier, Garrus thought. Adrien would have been proud. 

Garrus wanted to ask what the kid thought of the meeting, or what notes he took, but he couldn’t force himself to make conversation with the kid. It was still too difficult to look at him and remember _her_. He would have to get over it soon, or else the internship would not work out.

“You have an hour for lunch. You can take a break now, Shepard.” Garrus dismissed the kid, trying not to seethe when he said his name. It really wasn’t fair to the kid. _Focus, Vakarian._

“Johnson.” the kid spoke, his voice more firm than Garrus had ever heard it before.

“What?” 

“Johnson.” the kid repeated. “You can call me Johnson if you like. Most kids named Shepard go by their family names anyway, since it’s such a common name.” the kid clearly wanted to say more, and Garrus knew exactly what he wanted to say. _It physically hurts you to say my name, so I’m going to put you out of your misery._

Garrus sighed. He really was fucking up this kid’s whole experience, wasn’t he? “I’m sorry. I know I’m not the…easiest of people to be around.” he grumbled, mostly to himself, but he knew the kid could hear him. “Shepard is your name, and that’s what I’m going to call you.” he stated definitively. It wasn’t right to make the kid feel bad about his own name. 

“You really don’t have to, Mister Vakarian.” the kid— _Shepard, dammit_ —stood his ground. “I’m already used to going by Johnson, anyway, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal for me.”

“ _No_ .” Garrus stood his own ground. “You’re a good kid, and you deserve to be treated with respect, which is something I definitely haven’t been giving you. It will take some getting used to, but…I won’t call you Johnson. You’re Shepard.” he used the same tone of voice he used in meetings with politicians who didn’t know when to shut up. _I’ve made my decision and you can’t make me change my mind. And that’s final._ Hopefully, it would work on the kid…Shepard.

It seemed to work. Shepard nodded once, looking unconvinced but still doing what Garrus said. “Alright. If that’s okay with you.”

“It’s more than okay with me, Shepard.” this would take some serious getting used to. “Now, go on lunch. You have an hour.” Garrus ordered, still using the same definitive tone to convince Shepard that he was serious.

Shepard’s mouth twitched in a slight smile. “Okay, Mister Vakarian. I was planning on getting something to eat in the Wards. Would you like anything?” he asked, reaching for his wallet. 

Garrus shook his head. “No, I’m fine. Enjoy your lunch.” he paused, watching Shepard leave his office. “Oh, and Shepard?” he called, to which Shepard looked back at him. “I have an in-person meeting with a salarian representative in the Embassy later today. Would you like to accompany me?”

Shepard’s eyes lit up again, and his smile widened. “That would be great, Mister Vakarian! I would love to!”

Garrus' mandible flickered at the sight of Shepard looking excited again. “Alright, we’ll head over there when you get back from lunch.”

Shepard continued to beam at Garrus as he exited the office. “See you then, Mister Vakarian, and thanks!”

When Shepard left, Garrus slumped back in his chair. He pressed his fingers into his temples, attempting to soothe the tension behind his eyes. This was a huge mistake, he knew it, but he couldn’t go back on it now. Like when he was traveling on the Normandy, he had to see this mission to the end, no matter how painful it might be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always headcannoned that Tarquin was a rebellious lil shit that had a kid without Adrien knowing. My main headcanon is that Tarquin's mate/girlfriend/wife/whatever you wanna call her was pregnant during the war but didn't have Agrius until the war was over.
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


	3. THREE

Two months had passed since Garrus' new intern started working for him, and Liara wanted to meet up with him to discuss how the internship was going. And to catch up, she added at the end of her email.

Shepard had proved to be a valuable asset to the Primarch administration. Once he got in the office’s groove, he was constantly on his feet, eager to do whatever Garrus or anyone else needed. Nepiria loved him, which didn’t surprise Garrus at all, and she took every chance she could to work with Shepard during the day. Shepard even impacted the dignitaries Garrus interacted with, and Garrus was at the point of wondering if some politicians only scheduled meetings with him so they could talk to Shepard. Some members of the Embassy were already inquiring about Shepard working for them when he graduated. He would be an excellent member of the Embassy, Garrus couldn’t deny that.

As for the kid himself…Garrus didn’t want to admit it, but he had to admit that the kid had grown on him. He was a bottle of energy, eager to work and to please. He came into work every morning with a smile, something that Garrus had never done, even after having his morning coffee. At first, Shepard’s endless energy exhausted Garrus, but he had learned to work with his energy rather than against it. Shepard’s enthusiasm ended up benefiting Garrus, gladly taking on independent assignments when Garrus was feeling exhausted or when his migraines were so bad he couldn’t see straight. The migraines happened more frequently, and where Garrus first thought it was because of Shepard, he realized it was because he was getting older, and his body was slowing down. The endless amounts of scars and wounds were finally taking their toll on his body, and his bad mandible hurt now more than ever before.

Sometimes he wouldn’t even realize he was gripping his mandible in pain until Shepard would place a hot cup of tea in front of him. 

“Dextro-friendly,” Shepard would explain. “and good for pain relief.” he never went further beyond that, never asked how bad Garrus hurt. Just gave him the tea and walked away, which was exactly what Garrus liked. He hated being coddled, but didn’t mind knowing someone was looking out for him. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone took notice of his pain. Well, actually, he  _ could _ , but he tried to ignore those memories.

_ “Hope you don’t mind me constantly slurring like I’m drunk now.” _

_ “It’s not a slur, it’s a drawl. And I think it’s sexy. The scars are nice, too.” _

_ “Sometimes I wonder if you were supposed to be born a krogan.” _

_ “Would you still love me if I was a krogan?” _

He absolutely would. He would love her even if she was a Reaper.

“Garrus.” Liara knocked him out of his thoughts, which apparently he had gotten lost in again during their conversation.

“Sorry.” Garrus mumbled, looking out at the Presidium. 

Nearly everything in Hope Embassy was named after the Citadel, but the Embassy’s Presidium was nothing like the Citadel’s. It was a glorified shopping mall, a place for the young members of the Embassy to hang out on their lunch breaks. The Embassy Hall was just an elevator ride away from the Presidium, meaning most of the people that hung around the Presidium were Embassy members. Everyone else who lived in Hope Embassy stayed in the Wards, which was where the nightlife and crime lived. Shepard mostly hung out in the Wards, but Garrus never questioned it. He hardly went to the Presidium unless he was dragged there, like Liara had dragged him there for their meeting that day.

“No need to apologize,” Liara brushed it off. “just making sure I have your attention.”

“Yeah, you do, don’t worry.” Garrus reassured. “What did you want to talk about?”

“How is the internship going with Shepard?” Liara asked, getting right to the important topic rather than sugar-coating the meeting, which was what Garrus preferred.

“It’s going fine. He’s a good kid. Everyone in the office loves him.” Garrus reported.

“Except for you.” it wasn’t a question, a knowing look on Liara’s face.

Garrus flinched. Was he that obvious? He hoped Shepard didn’t notice. “He’s a good kid. I like him just fine.”

“Call him by his name, Garrus.” Liara reprimanded. “I hope you don’t call him ‘kid’ to his face.”

“N-no, don’t worry about that.” Garrus sunk a little into his chair, feeling like a child being scolded by his mother. “I call him by his name. I call him Shepard.”

“Garrus, you can be honest with me.” Liara placed a gentle hand on Garrus'. “What do you really think of him? You told me your employees like him, but what about you?”

Garrus sighed, not surprised that Liara wanted to know everything. She  _ was  _ the Shadow Broker. She didn’t know things half-assed; she had to know every little detail. “He’s a great kid, honest. He’s got a great attitude, and he comes into work happy, and I know he’ll succeed when he gets to the Embassy. He was made for it.” it was the most Garrus had ever complimented Shepard, and Liara smiled softly at the praise. Garrus laughed inwardly, knowing it was probably Liara that shaped him into the kid he is now. “He’s…he’s a very compassionate person. I can tell.”

“Do you like the tea he makes you?” Liara asked, taking Garrus off guard.

“What?”

“He makes that tea himself, you know. Looked up dextro-friendly recipes for pain relief. He told me you look like you’re in pain a lot. Is it your mandible?” Liara asked, leaning forward in her chair to get a good look at the scars littering Garrus' jaw.

“I mean, yeah, it’s been getting worse lately and—wait, back up, he  _ makes  _ that tea?” Garrus asked, incredulous. 

Liara chuckled and nodded. “Yes, but don’t tell him I told you. He doesn’t want you to think he’s pitying you. His mother suffers from chronic pain, too, and he wanted to help you in the same way he helps her. His tea is incredible, isn’t it? I don’t know what he puts in it, but I told him he should open his own tea shop if he decides not to work in the Embassy.”

“Is she…okay? His mother?” he asked, thinking of his own mother. She spent her last years in pain, something he wishes he could have fixed, but he never did. He paid the best doctors in the galaxy, but none of them could help her. It still hurt him to think about.

Liara’s brows furrowed, her mouth twitching downwards in a frown. “She was Alliance. Fighter pilot. She was hurt very badly during a mission and never healed correctly, so now she’s always in pain. Shepard cares for her a great deal. I assume you can relate?”

Garrus nodded, looking down at Liara’s hand over his. “Yeah, I can.” he softly answered.

There was a long pause between them, but it wasn’t awkward. Liara knew that Garrus kept to himself, often lost himself in his thoughts and didn’t like to be interrupted. Garrus was happy to have her as a friend. 

“Surely you’ve noticed, Garrus?” Liara broke the silence.

Garrus looked up at her quizzically. “Noticed what?” he asked, wondering if he missed some part of the conversation.

“How much he looks like her.”

Garrus clenched his teeth. That was the last thing he wanted to think about. 

“Liara, please—”

“He acts like her, too.” Liara wouldn’t look at him, her gaze far off in the distance of the Presidium. 

“Liara—”

“You should get to know him better.” she continued, finally looking Garrus in the eye. “He’s constantly singing your praises, Garrus. I think he would make a good friend for you.”

“Liara, what are you talking about?” Garrus finally got a word in.

Liara looked off again, her gaze unfocused, like she was seeing something Garrus wasn’t. “There’s an old belief asari have.” she began. “It started with the story of Nuezka and her lover, Tarin. Nuezka was an ancient warrior, one that many asari admire and look up to as the epitome of the asari people, and Tarin was her lover, a member of an old species that died out long ago. Tarin died long before Nuezka did, and Nuezka was so distraught that she couldn’t fight anymore. When Tarin saw how upset Nuezka was over her death, Tarin sent another to take her place. And when that lover died, Tarin sent another, and another, and another, and continued to do so until Nuezka died and they reunited in the afterlife. 

“It’s more of a coping mechanism than an actual story, but it’s something we asari hold dear to us.” Liara explained. “We outlive many species, and we believe that, once we meet that one special person—our destined loved one—they continue to watch over us when they pass, and they send others to us, to fill the void they left behind.” Liara turned to Garrus again, a small smile on her face. “He’s not Shepard, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she sent him to you.”

For one of the few times in Garrus' life, he was at a loss for words, his mouth open but nothing coming out.

“She loved you so dearly, you know that. You were so distraught after her death that you threw yourself into your work, and now you’re facing the consequences of pushing your body beyond its limits. You act much older than you are, your body is slowing down, and you’re constantly angry and everyone is afraid of you. That’s not the Garrus I know…the Garrus that  _ she  _ knew. You’re growing old, yes, but you’re killing yourself, Garrus. You’re not taking care of yourself the way she would want you to.” Liara squeezed his cold hand, emphasizing that Garrus was letting himself go, allowing himself to die before he should. 

Garrus stared down at their hands, wanting to snatch his hand out of her grip but couldn’t. He was so tired. He was in pain. He was hurting. “Liara…you realize how crazy that sounds, right?” he asked, his voice hoarse, his good mandible curling tight against his jaw.

Liara chuckled softly. “Of course I do. Shepard would never have believed something like that, but she would be very disappointed with the man you’ve become, Garrus.” she spoke softly, her voice barely above a whisper to keep anyone else from hearing. “You remember the man you were before you met her, don’t you?”

He did. An angry rebel without a cause, a need to feel like he was giving justice instead of binding his hands in red tape. He was close to self-destruction when he met Shepard, almost to the point of getting himself killed by either Fist or another crime lord. He almost got Doctor Michel killed, too. And then, when she died…Garrus wanted to die in that hideout on Omega. He wanted the Blue Suns or the Blood Pack to get to him, to put him out of his misery. They almost succeeded, but then Shepard appeared, back from the dead. Now she’s gone for good, and, for the last two-hundred years, Garrus was slowly killing himself, wanting it all to end. He hated to admit it, but, for the first fifty years, he was desperately waiting for Shepard to come back. To return from the dead like she had last time. But, at some point, he realized that wouldn’t happen, and so he stopped caring…about everything. Apparently Garrus had self-destructive tendencies, which was something Liara had told him many times before. What a great thing to learn about yourself when you’re near the end of your life.

“I…whatever you think I should be with him, I can’t…” Garrus choked on his own voice, as close to crying as turians could get. When had he gotten so tired? 

Liara squeezed his hand again. “I’m not saying that you should have with him what you had with Shepard, but at least let him in. I haven’t been entirely honest with you.” she admitted with a sigh. “I wanted Shepard to get experience in the Embassy through this internship, yes, but I also knew he could be something good for you. The moment I met him, I knew Shepard had something to do with him. It was almost like she grabbed me by the shoulders and screamed ‘it’s me, you lunatic! Now send him to Garrus!’” 

“You think…you think  _ he’s  _ Shepard?” Garrus asked quietly.

“No,” Liara answered affirmatively. “asari do not believe that our loved ones come back to us, but that they find someone else for us and send  _ those  _ people to us. We believe our loved ones are always watching over us, protecting us, and doing what’s best for us. You may not believe me, and that’s fine, but I believe that Shepard sent that boy to you. Start living again, Garrus, and what better to help you enjoy life again than a vibrant young man who’s more puppy than human?” she smiled at the end, causing Garrus' mandible to flutter in response.

“He really acts like a puppy, doesn’t he?” Garrus chuckled to himself, thinking of how excited Shepard would get over the smallest things, like visiting the Embassy with Garrus, or listening in on a meeting, or even handling the press when Garrus didn’t want to. Garrus sighed, slowly shaking his head. “Liara, I…I can’t. He’s a good kid, but—”

“I’m not asking you to mate with him, Garrus.” Liara chuckled at the horrified look on Garrus' face. “I’m just asking to let him be your friend. He desperately wants to be.”

Garrus' mandible flicked upwards. “He does?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yes, he does! He only ever has good things to say about you when I speak with him.” Liara stated, much to Garrus' shock. He wasn’t the best company to be around, he knew that, and he knew he should treat Shepard better. Maybe the kid was just oblivious to everything, and that’s how he could stay so happy all the time. “Just…give him a chance? For me? Or, should I say, for Shepard?” she squeezed Garrus' hand, and for a moment it felt like when Shepard used to squeeze his hand when she was feeling overwhelmed during the war and needed him to comfort her. 

Garrus closed his eyes, feeling his bad mandible throb in pain. Shepard had given him some of his tea to take home with him, and he felt he would need to make some to relieve the pain when he got home. “I’ll…I’ll do what I can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and remember to take care of yourself! (unlike Garrus lol) <3


	4. FOUR

A month had passed since his meeting with Liara, and the one day a year Garrus dreaded more than anything was coming up. It put him in a more sour mood than usual; he woke up with a migraine so bad he was dizzy; he had no patience for the politicians he was meeting with that day, and he even yelled at Nepiria, who thankfully shrugged it off because she had dealt with this many times in the many years she had been working for him. She knew what day was coming up, and she knew what kind of mood it put Garrus in. Other turians in a five-mile radius also stayed clear of Garrus, his constant growling subvocals letting them know that he was not to be messed with that day.

Shepard, the oblivious human he was, did not.

“Mister Vakarian?” Shepard called tentatively from his desk, noticing Garrus' horrendous mood. “Would you like me to make you more tea?”

_The idiot thinks it’s the pain_ , Garrus growled to himself. “No.” he snarled, keeping his eyes on his computer and not once looking at Shepard. The kid was the _last_ person Garrus wanted to speak to that day, and yet the stupid human was terrible at turian social cues. Garrus desperately wished Shepard could hear his subvocals; at least then he would leave him alone. 

“Is…is there anything you need? Do you need some food, or water, or…anything?” Shepard asked, his tone showing how desperate he was to lighten Garrus' mood.

“What I _need_ is for you to shut the hell up.” Garrus barked, and he instantly regretted it. He glanced over at Shepard, seeing his large blue eyes portray the hurt he felt, his lower lip quivering slightly. Spirits-damned humans and their _crying_. Garrus could never get over the sight of a human crying. It was like watching a baby turian get kicked in the face. Garrus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his talons. “I’m sorry,” he breathed. “I’m…I’m just really not in the best mood right now.”

“There’s nothing I can do?” Shepard asked, and _dammit_ , he sounded so _broken_. He was too empathetic for his own good. The Embassy would eat him alive if they found out how kind he was.

“No, please, Shepard. I really need quiet if you don’t mind.” he spoke softly, but his voice was still on edge. 

Shepard seemed to get the hint, turning back to his computer and working on the various assignments Garrus gave him that day. Garrus was pleased to have a moment to himself, to lose himself in his work and forget about everything happening, and everything coming up. He didn’t sleep last night; he kept having nightmares about the worst day of his life, and his migraine was worse than it’s ever been before—he thought it had something to do with his bad mandible. Spirits, what if he had to get it _amputated_?

The silence didn’t last long, however, much to Garrus' disdain.

“Um, Mister Vakarian?” Shepard piped up, causing Garrus to roll his eyes. Humans were right up there with salarians with how much they loved to talk. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t want to be bothered, but I had something I wanted to ask you about.”

Garrus sighed. “What is it?” he asked, his voice flat. He turned to look at Shepard, a bored expression on his face to make Shepard get on with his question faster.

“I was wondering if—”

The lights cut out above, their computers blinked off, and the office door locked shut, a protective barrier sliding down over the windows to seal Garrus and Shepard inside.

Shepard jumped out of his seat, looking around him. “What’s happening?!” he asked in a panic.

Garrus groaned in frustration. “It’s nothing, just a procedure. If E-Sec finds something or someone questionable, they put the whole place on lockdown to keep everyone safe. It’s overdramatic, if you ask me, but they don’t want to take their chances again after what happened to the Citadel.” he wanted to text Nepiria and make sure she was okay, but the lockdown cut off cell service, making communication impossible for terrorists.

Through the dim light of the windows looking out into space, Garrus could see Shepard shaking. “Is…how long do these usually last?” he asked, his voice quivering.

“Depends on how long it takes E-Sec to get everything settled.” Garrus laughed to himself. “If you think E-Sec is slow and lazy, you should’ve seen the Citadel Security, they were a mess.” Once he saw that Shepard was still shaking, he narrowed his eyes in confusion. “What’s wrong?” 

Shepard jolted when Garrus asked him the question, apparently lost in his own thoughts. “I just…it’s stupid.” he mumbled, wrapping his arms around his waist to comfort himself.

“Well, something’s got you upset, and if I can help, I will.” Garrus stated. The lockdown put him in a somewhat better mood, mostly because he thought the whole thing was stupid and he liked to laugh about how paranoid the Embassy Security was. He couldn’t blame them, but it was funny to him how most E-Sec officers weren’t even alive when the Citadel was destroyed and yet anytime something questionable happened they acted like it was the apocalypse. They had _no_ idea how bad the apocalypse could actually be, and Garrus spoke from experience.

It took a few moments before Shepard said anything again. “I…I’m afraid of the dark.” he meekly confessed.

Garrus bit back the laugh. He didn’t need the kid to think he was mocking him, but seriously? “It’s not that dark in here.” he gestured to the open windows behind him, overlooking the system the Embassy was in. The new founders had the good instincts to stay far away from the Widow System, at least, in an effort to prevent anything like the Reaper War from happening again.

“I just…I know it’s stupid, but…I don’t know, I’ve always been like this.” Shepard said, hanging his head low in embarrassment. 

Garrus shrugged. “I’ve heard of worse illogical fears. A quarian I knew was so terrified of spiders that she would scream bloody murder if something that didn’t even _look_ like a spider crawled past her.” 

Shepard quickly lifted his head, looking at Garrus with wide eyes. “You mean Tali?”

Garrus wanted to sigh in exasperation. Of course he knew about Tali. He probably knew about the mole on Grunt’s left asscheek. “Yeah, Tali. She hated any kind of insect, really. Couldn’t blame her after our experience with the rachni.” 

Shepard’s brows rose. “Man, I don’t know what I’d do if I ever saw a rachni in person. They’re scary enough in pictures.”

Garrus chuckled. “Then you’d never want to meet the Queen. She was a huge, giant spider-thing that could control the dead and make them talk for her.” Garrus couldn’t contain the laugh when Shepard’s face paled at the thought.

_“Attention all Hope Embassy personnel. We are experiencing an extended lockdown protocol. Please remain where you are and remain calm. We will notify you when the lockdown concludes. Thank you for your patience.”_ An automated voice spoke over the loudspeakers in the office, interrupting Garrus and Shepard’s conversation.

Garrus scoffed. “Must’ve found something good for it to be an extended lockdown.”

“What do you think’s happening?” Shepard asked, the frightened look back on his face.

Garrus shrugged. “Knowing E-Sec, a geth probably looked at them funny.” he shook his head. While it was still illegal to make artificial intelligence, the geth that remained after the war were allowed to exist, but that didn’t mean that the geth didn’t face discrimination for their part in the Reaper War. Garrus noticed that Shepard was still standing, and he gestured to a chair at his desk. “You wanna sit over here? There’s more light by the windows.” he suggested.

Shepard took the offer without embarrassment, sitting on the chair closest to Garrus. “You think Nepiria and everyone else is okay?” he asked.

“Oh yeah, they’re probably all fine. Like I said, these lockdowns usually mean nothing. I doubt anyone in the Embassy is in any real danger.” Garrus reassured.

Shepard was quiet for a moment, and, judging by the crinkle in his brow, Garrus guessed he was thinking intently about something. “So…you were on the Citadel when Saren attacked? And when Councilor Udina attempted a coup?” he asked, looking up at Garrus with those bright blue eyes of his.

Garrus had to keep himself from groaning loudly and rolling his eyes. _Everyone_ wanted to know about his adventures with Shepard, and he was tired of telling them. But he figured he would entertain the kid, at least, especially if he was scared by what was going on. “Yeah, not fun times, let me tell ya. You’d think it would be all fun and games while trying to stop a rebel turian from activating the Reaper War, but it was mostly messy. And exhausting.” 

“Was it hard for you to kill Saren like that?” Shepard asked.

Garrus paused, thinking it over. “I guess some part of me found it hard to take down another turian, especially one like Saren, but by that point I had realized that Saren was a goner. It became more about saving the galaxy than turian pride.” 

“And the coup? I thought Councilor Udina was friends with the Commander.”

Garrus barked out a laugh. “‘Friends’ is definitely not a word I’d use to describe their relationship. Udina hated Shepard, and Shepard hated Udina. I think that was the only time I ever saw Shepard kill someone in cold blood like that.”

Shepard blinked, looking amazed at what he had just heard. “I guess I already knew that there were some things about the story that were wrong, but, I wonder…was the thing with the fish true?”

“What fish?”

“That the Commander stole the fish from the original Presidium when the Normandy was banned from leaving the Citadel.” Shepard stated.

Garrus snorted, wondering just how twisted the real story had gotten in two-hundred years. “Uh, no. Shepard loved fish, but she didn’t steal any of them, especially not from the Presidium. I think that story got mixed up with the time Shepard convinced some krogans that there were fish on the Presidium and convinced them to jump into the Presidium pool to see for themselves.”

“So she didn’t start a fish uprising?”

Garrus blinked. “No, but…something tells me she regrets _not_ doing that.”

ꭥꭥꭥꭥ

The “extended” lockdown ended up lasting for five hours. By the second hour, Garrus broke into his stash of dextro- and levo-friendly alcohol that he saved for meetings with politicians that Garrus _needed_ a drink to get through. They weren’t strong enough to turn him into a sloppy drunk—he needed to keep up appearances, after all—but they were strong enough to get a good buzz going. The alcohol seemed to loosen Shepard up a little, which was good enough for Garrus. He didn’t want the poor kid to be shaking in fear during the entire lockdown.

“And then, James would _not_ shut up about biotics being weaker than brute strength, so Shepard—keep in mind we were all very inebriated—just lifted him up in the air and body slammed him to the ground. He hit the floor so hard it even made me dizzy.” Garrus chuckled at the memory, taking another swig from the almost-empty bottle.

Shepard laughed, and it amused Garrus by how much of a lightweight he was. The stuff in Garrus' office was nowhere near as strong as he preferred it, and yet the poor guy was way more far gone than Garrus was. “That’s awesome! Makes me wish I was a biotic, it’d be so cool to just… _pow!_ Slam people right into the ground like that.” he slapped his hands together for added effect. 

Garrus found the best way to calm Shepard down was to tell stories of his time with the original Shepard. The kid wanted to know everything, claiming that no one else got the chance to hear about the Great Commander Shepard from someone who knew her. So Garrus complied, telling him the more entertaining bits of Shepard’s story to make him happy. And, judging by the shit-eating grin plastered on his face, the kid was enthralled. Which made Garrus happy. For some reason.

“Yeah, Shepard had her moments of being a total badass. But she was a complete dork the majority of the time. I remember her evil clone locked us in a cell and, instead of, y’know, worrying about how to get out, she was hung up on how the clone spoke.” Garrus cleared his throat to put on his best Shepard impersonation. “I don’t really sound like that, do I? I don’t _really_ say things like that, right? I sound much cooler than that, right, Garrus?” 

Shepard chuckled. “I can’t believe she even had an evil clone. The things that happened to her are things that only happen in movies!” he exclaimed, nearly dropping his empty bottle. Garrus cut him off early once he realized what a lightweight he was, but Shepard was too far gone to care anymore.

“She was almost in a Blasto movie once. Don’t tell anyone I told you that, I promised her I’d take that to the grave.” Garrus pointed his bottle at Shepard to emphasize his point. 

Shepard had a soft, small smile on his face. “She sounded really cool. I’m glad. Most heroes end up being total assholes.”

Garrus hummed in agreement. “Yeah, Shepard was…” _everything._ “really great. She didn’t ask to be a war hero, but she never backed down from the challenge, either. I always had a lot of respect for her because of that. Most people would run _away_ at the first sight of a Reaper, not _towards_ it.” Garrus sighed, shaking his head. “Then again, this is the same woman who adopted a krogan.”

Shepard tilted his head in confusion. “Wrex?”

Garrus laughed. “No, Grunt. The two of them said nothing about it, but Grunt was essentially her son. He only listened to her, and she adored him in a way only a mother can. When she released him from the tank, I believe her exact words were: back up everyone, I’m about to give birth to a krogan.”

_“Garrus, do you want kids?”_

_“I’m not becoming Grunt’s father.”_

_“No! I mean like, actual kids.”_

_“What’s brought this on?”_

_“Just answer the damn question.”_

_“Well…yeah. I want kids.”_

_“Are you still hung up on a human-turian baby?”_

_“I’ve accepted that we can’t reproduce. Doesn’t mean we still can’t practice.”_

_“Oh, hush you!”_

_“You still haven’t said why you asked.”_

_“I just…wanted your opinion. After the war…”_

_“Yes…?”_

_“There will be a lot of kids without parents. Like me.”_

_“Yeah, there will be.”_

_“And I want one.”_

_“You want to adopt?”_

_“When the war is over, yeah. The turians have lost everything and…I’m sure there will be a lot of turian kids left alone.”_

_“You want a turian?”_

_“Or a human. Maybe both. Maybe an asari, too, or a salarian_ — _”_

_“Shepard, we’re not adopting the entire galaxy.”_

_“How about two? A turian and a human? Like us?”_

_“That…that sounds nice.”_

_“We’ll have a family? When all this is over?”_

_“Yeah, Shepard. We’ll have a family.”_

“Mister Vakarian?” 

Garrus snapped his head in Shepard’s direction, seeing a concerned look on his face. He spaced out again. That was happening more often, too.

“Are you alright?” Shepard asked, his brows furrowed.

Garrus shook off the memories, trying to bring himself back to the present. “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, that happens sometimes.”

“Are you thinking about the Commander?”

Garrus eyed the kid. “What makes you think that?”

Shepard smiled slightly. “Anytime someone mentions her, or if I say something about her, you get this far-off look in your eyes, like you’re somewhere else. I kinda put two and two together.” he shrugged in explanation.

Garrus sighed, tilting his head back against his desk. They had moved to the floor some time ago, with Garrus' back to his desk and Shepard’s back against the wall, facing each other. They were close enough that their legs were touching, but Garrus didn’t mind. Turians weren’t exactly affectionate people, but being around Shepard, Liara, and Tali made him get used to physical affection. “Yeah, sorry about that. It’s just…I can’t help it sometimes.”

Shepard smiled sadly at him. “Don’t apologize, I understand. It must be hard losing someone so close to you.”

That sentence made Garrus take pause. He eyed Shepard warily. “How much do you know?” he asked slowly.

Shepard’s smile turned from sad to amused. “Oh, come on, Mister Vakarian, everyone in the galaxy knows you and Shepard were together. It’s not a secret.”

Garrus paused, blinking slowly. “I…we tried very hard to keep that private…”

“Shouldn’t have been all mushy-gushy at her apartment in the Citadel, then.” Shepard chuckled at the horrified look on Garrus' face. “It’s okay to miss her. You loved her a lot, didn’t you?”

Garrus didn’t even need to think about how he shouldn’t answer that. His relationship with Shepard was his own, one that no one else should know about, but he couldn’t ignore a question like that. “I do.”

The sad smile was back on Shepard’s face as he tilted his head. “It must be hard. She’s the hero of the galaxy, a legend, and you’re…you’re left here without her.”

“If you’re trying to make me cry, it’s not going to work. Turians don’t cry.” Garrus deadpanned.

Shepard’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, of course not, Mister Vakarian! I just…it helps me understand you better.”

If Garrus had an eyebrow, he would have lifted it in confusion. “How so?” he asked.

“You’re lonely. That’s why you’re so angry all the time. She was taken away from you before she should have been, and everyone around you is celebrating and praising her and you’re sitting here missing her. It’s not fair that we all get to benefit from your loss. If I was you, I’d be angry, too.” he paused, his brows knitting together for a moment as he contemplated what to say next. He lifted his eyes to look at Garrus. “You never said goodbye to her, did you?”

Garrus clenched his jaw. “I was the last person to see her alive, of course I said goodbye.” 

“Did you say the words ‘goodbye’ to her?” Shepard asked.

_“Shepard…I love you.”_

“No.” he admitted.

Shepard smiled softly. “I think I can help. It’s actually what I was going to ask you about earlier.” 

“Oh?” Garrus asked, curious.

“Have you ever been to her statue on Earth?” Shepard asked.

Garrus' heart dropped into his stomach. He knew what Shepard was asking. He had heard about the statue, had even been invited to its grand reveal, but he didn’t go. He couldn’t go. Even now, all these years later, he still couldn’t go. He couldn’t stand in the exact place where she was last alive on Earth and stare up at the statue they built in her honor. “No.” he answered.

“You know what’s coming up, right?” Shepard asked, though he already knew the answer to that question.

“I do.” Garrus replied, wanting to roll his eyes at how purposely dumb Shepard was being. “You think I’d forget?”

V-Day. The day Shepard destroyed the Reapers and ended the war. The day he lost her forever. It was a holiday for all species, schools were closed for the day and everyone had the day off from work. For humans, however, it was practically a religious holiday.

“We have a huge celebration on Earth. Everyone on the planet celebrates, and London has the biggest celebration of them all, since that’s where her statue is. It’s nearly impossible to get close enough to her statue unless you’re royalty or an A-list celebrity,” Shepard explained. “but…I know a guy who can get us closer to the statue than anyone else can.”

Liara, most likely. She had been trying to get Garrus to see Shepard’s statue since the day it was put up. This was probably her idea. “I appreciate the thought, but, I can’t.”

“Why not?” Shepard asked, genuinely confused.

“I…I don’t wanna talk about it.” Garrus grumbled.

“Mister Vakarian, please. You have to say goodbye to her.” Shepard pleaded, his big blue eyes showing nothing but sincerity. _He looks so much like her._ “Will you please go with me to the celebration? It would mean a lot to her…to the Commander.”

That was a low blow, one that Liara most likely told him to use if Garrus resisted. Garrus sighed loudly. “You won’t give up until I say yes, will you?”

Shepard shook his head. “Nope!” he affirmed.

Garrus rolled his eyes. This kid was too much to deal with sometimes. “Fine, I’ll go. But we won’t stay long. We’ll just see her statue and leave, okay?” 

Shepard squealed in excitement, unable to control himself as he lunged for Garrus, wrapping his arms around his neck, though with some difficulty navigating around his carapace. Garrus froze in shock. “Oh, thank you, Mister Vakarian! It’ll be so much fun, I promise!”

What had Garrus gotten himself into now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I really need to change my name." - Alistair whenever someone asks him about the Blight, and now Garrus whenever someone asks him about Shepard.
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


	5. FIVE

Humans were way too over the top with their celebrations. Garrus should have seen that coming. The car ride from the Embassy to London was packed with loud, excited humans (and some non-humans like Garrus), eagerly chatting about the celebration and how lucky they were to get to celebrate in London, the place where the war ended. As someone who  _ had  _ been in London when the war ended, Garrus didn’t get the hype. Even Shepard was excited, more so than usual. He was practically bouncing in his seat when they arrived in London, eagerly exiting the car and joining in the throngs of people headed for central London.

London was chaos.

There were people everywhere. Mostly human, but non-human, too. Garrus even saw some batarians walking about, which was surprising considering Garrus assumed they all subscribed to the “Commander Shepard is Evil” narrative. Food and merchandise stands lined the streets; none of them were want for customers, for the streets were packed to capacity. The food stands claimed to sell Shepard’s favorite foods, and the merchandise stores sold everything they could with Shepard’s face on it. Garrus warily eyed the children dressed as Shepard in her iconic N7 armor, and some even wore red wigs in the style of her hair. 

_ “Look at this! Commander Shepard Halloween Costumes! And wait, what’s this?  _ Sexy  _ Commander Shepard Halloween Costumes?! Are these people out of their minds?!” _

Garrus mentioned he wouldn’t mind seeing her in the sexy Commander Shepard costume. His jaw ached for days from how hard she punched him for that. 

“Mister Vakarian!” Shepard called for him, careful not to lose each other in the crowd. “Come on!” He motioned for Garrus to follow him through the throngs of people.

Garrus followed Shepard as best he could, careful not to lose the mop of curly red hair that made him stand out in the crowd. It was a good thing Shepard was a head taller than nearly everyone there, making it much easier for Garrus to keep an eye on him.

Commander Shepard posters decorated the buildings, many with messages of “Thank You, Commander!” or “Never Forget Commander Shepard!” or the like. There were even a few Alliance posters in memory of those who lost their lives in the war. Garrus even saw a poster for Admiral Anderson. At least the humans could remember those who helped Shepard along the way. Garrus wondered what Shepard would think of all this. She gave her life for these people, and every year they celebrated her triumphant win. The humans practically worshipped her—which Garrus  _ knew  _ would unsettle her—and nearly every species (save the batarians) held great respect for her. She was a legend now. Garrus knew she wasn’t one for glitz and glamor, but being thanked for her sacrifice…yeah, she would like that, Garrus assumed. She would just be happy with the fact that they were  _ alive  _ to celebrate victory. That was what mattered to her the most. Garrus could only look at the posters for a moment before looking for Shepard again, making sure not to lose him in the crowd.

The last time Garrus was in London was during the war. It had been so long and he didn’t recognize any of the buildings, but he had flashes in his mind of his journey through London. Of banshees screeching as they approached, of the hoards of husks attacking them from all sides, and the ever-present Reapers looming over them, waiting for Shepard to face them head on. She chose him and Tali to follow her into hell, and he wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

_ “You two have been through my side through it all. We’re going to see the end of this together.” _

Sometimes Garrus wondered if she knew that was a lie. 

As they kept walking, the crowds kept getting worse. Everyone wanted a glance at the statue, it seemed, or at least a glance at the spot where the Great Commander Shepard was last alive on Earth. Up ahead Garrus could see glances of the statue, hidden behind buildings. Garrus felt his breath quicken as he realized he was almost there. Was he ready for this?

Then, the buildings seemed to separate on their own, revealing the statue. It was huge. Garrus remembered reading about how the sculptors wanted the statue to be the size of a Reaper to represent the magnitude of the war, with Commander Shepard coming out on top and saving the galaxy. Garrus stopped walking, looking up at the face he had nearly forgotten with time. 

The statue was in full color, and she was in the N7 armor that she loved so much. She held her helmet tucked under her left arm, her favorite rifle held tightly in her right hand, and her face exposed for all to see. She wore a serious look on her face, her light blue eyes looking off in the distance, always watching the horizon, always on the lookout for the enemy. They even got her scars right, especially the one across her nose. Garrus remembered kissing that scar, and the tip of that upturned nose. She would always laugh and scrunch her nose up, playfully shoving him away. 

She was beautiful. 

“Mister Vakarian?” Shepard called, and Garrus found it hard to look away from the statue, from  _ his  _ Shepard. “Are you alright?” 

“I…”  _ no, I’m not alright.  _ “I’m fine. Sorry. I had no idea how big it was.”

Shepard smiled. “We can get closer. My contact got us through the gates. We can…we can go to the exact spot. There’s a plaque that marks it.”

The exact spot where Shepard left Earth for the Crucible. The last spot where Garrus saw her alive. Did he want to do this?  _ Could  _ he do this? “Alright.” He spoke, but it didn’t sound like him saying it. 

He followed Shepard, never taking his eyes off the statue. The crowds dissipated once they passed through different gates that blocked off various VIP areas. Garrus was sure someone in the exclusive areas would recognize him, but he didn’t care. Primarch be damned. He was Shepard’s Vakarian. Seeing her was more important. 

Eventually Garrus was so close that he couldn’t look up at her anymore without straining his neck, so he looked back down at Shepard—this  _ new  _ Shepard that had fallen into his life—as they passed through the final gates. Shepard showed the security their VIP passes, the ones that got them this close to the statue, and the security nodded, opening the gates for them. Garrus had no idea who Liara blackmailed to allow Garrus and Shepard to get this close to the statue, but, at the moment, Garrus didn’t care.

Garrus didn’t notice that Shepard stopped walking once they went past the final gates. Garrus didn’t realize he was walking on his own, staring with wide eyes at the monument ahead. It was significantly smaller than the statue, a single column bearing a single plaque. With every step he took, flashes of his last moments with her replayed in his mind. Of running behind her as they approached the Reaper. Of nearly getting crushed by an overturned truck. Of being badly injured to the point that Shepard called for help. Of Tali dragging him away from her, leaving her behind.  _ No man left behind.  _ When Garrus was close enough to the monument, he read the inscription.

_ COMMANDER JANE SHEPARD _

_ 2154-2186 _

_ The brave Alliance hero who saved the galaxy from the Reaper invasion. She took her last stand on this very spot before she destroyed the Reapers. _

_ May she rest in peace, and may she feel our eternal gratitude for her sacrifice. _

_ Thank you, Commander _

Garrus' mandible was fluttering uncontrollably, and he was heaving. He could barely read the rest of the plaque as it listed her military achievements and what she did during the war. His cold hands were shaking, and his teeth were chattering as if he was freezing to death. He felt a lump in his throat, making it hard for him to breathe. His heart ached in such a way that it hadn’t in a long, long time. 

_ “Shepard, I’m not leaving you!” _

_ It was the first time he had ever been slapped. Hard. At least she hit him on his good side, or else that would have hurt like a bitch. “Focus, Vakarian!” she yelled over the sounds of the Reapers destroying everything around them. “You’re in no condition to fight, and you know what must be done.” _

_ “You better come back to me.” _

_ “I’ll do what I can.” She couldn’t make that promise, and he knew it, but dammit if she didn’t return…. That same hand that slapped him was now gently holding the side of his face, her light blue eyes gazing into his own with love and fear and knowing that she wasn’t coming back. He desperately wanted to kiss her. Or hold her. Or drag her away from the carnage and fly off to another galaxy where they could be safe together. “You have to go. That’s an order.” The tone of her voice made the order sound like anything but. _

_ “Shepard…I love you.” _

_ “I love you, too, Garrus.” _

The last time he saw her was when she was running towards the Reaper, the cargo doors closing as the Normandy flew away. 

This was the spot. This was where he last saw her. And he didn’t say goodbye.

“Shepard,” he whispered, his voice cracking and his subvocals crying for his lost love. He gently placed his hand on the plaque, the tips of his talons tracing the etching of her name. 

He could feel Shepard behind him. Not  _ his  _ Shepard, but a new one. One that didn’t judge him for being angry over losing her. One that didn’t flinch at his quiet, anguished cries. One that said nothing, as Garrus preferred, but placed a gentle hand on his arm. 

“Take all the time you need, Mister Vakarian.”

“Garrus.”

Shepard was taken aback as he looked to Garrus with wide eyes. “What?”

“Call me Garrus. You’ve earned that right.” Garrus never took his eyes off the plaque. 

Shepard’s eyes welled with unshed tears, feeling overwhelmed by the agony coming from Garrus and feeling honored of being trusted so much by someone who did not give trust easily. “Of course…Garrus.” 

The two were silent, aside from Garrus' crying subvocals. The statue of Commander Shepard loomed over them, protecting them from prying eyes. Even in death, she was protecting Garrus, and she always would. Garrus knew that.

“You have to say goodbye, Garrus.” Shepard spoke softly, rubbing a soothing hand on Garrus' arm.

Garrus swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut as he seared her image in his memory. Of the brave Commander Shepard, war hero, savior of the galaxy. Smiling with that bright smile of hers, her big blue eyes sparkling with love, and her arms open for him, and only him. His Shepard. The love of his life. 

“Goodbye, Shepard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now you know why Garrus is always saying "focus, Vakarian" to himself :)
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


	6. SIX

It had been a week since the V-Day celebration on Earth, and things had gone (somewhat) back to normal in the Primarch administration. Turns out the lockdown was caused by a security breach by some punk kid in his mom’s apartment, which made E-Sec take extra precautions to the Embassy’s security system, which meant Garrus had to change all his passwords for all his Embassy accounts. Which was a pain in the ass because he was forgetting more and more things recently. Memory loss was also a sign of aging in turians. He remembered Adrien towards the end, not remembering who Garrus was.

“I already replied to Ambassador Kinli’s email this morning, right?” Garrus asked Shepard, which had become a regular occurrence recently.

Shepard nodded, not looking up from his computer. “You told her you needed to push the meeting back because Nepiria accidentally scheduled two meetings at the same time.” he stated, typing on his computer as he spoke. Some dignitaries that dealt with Garrus had reached out to Shepard instead. Garrus was just happy he didn’t have to deal with them as much anymore.

“At least it wasn’t my fault this time.” Garrus chuckled to himself. Nepiria recently found out that her human mate was pregnant—the two had been trying to get pregnant through IVF for years—so she was scatterbrained at the moment at the realization of becoming a mother. Garrus was happy for her, even if it caused more hiccups in his routine.

“Ambassador Kinli reached out to me asking if I would rather do the meeting with her instead.” Shepard beamed at Garrus, proud of himself for impressing an asari ambassador. Garrus noticed that Shepard had a thing for asari, or so it seemed. He ignored the sting of jealousy at the sight of Shepard pining for the ambassador. 

_ You are way too old to be getting jealous. _

Garrus wasn’t sure when it happened, but after their visit to Earth he started…noticing Shepard more. At first it was noticing the weird, warm feeling he would get in his chest when Shepard would smile at him, his face lighting up and his eyes sparkling. Then he noticed that Shepard did indeed dye his hair that color, for one day he saw thick dark brown roots growing beneath the red, and the next day the brown was gone, replaced by the dark red that colored the rest of his hair. Then he noticed the little things. Shepard liked sweets, especially chocolate. It took months before Garrus even noticed he had freckles along his nose, small brown spots littering his cheekbones. He wasn’t a big coffee drinker, unlike Garrus, but he knew exactly what Garrus liked in his coffee and would bring him a fresh mug every morning along with a cup of his tea that relieved the ache in Garrus’ mandible. Garrus never once saw pity in Shepard’s eyes when his mandible ached, or when his head throbbed in pain; instead, he simply placed the cup of tea in front of him and returned to his desk without a word. He never inquired about the pain or if there was something that could be done to fix it, which Garrus appreciated.

Garrus also noticed the look in Shepard’s eyes. He had been given that look before, and he had nearly forgotten what it felt like to be on the receiving end of that gaze.

Shepard tried to be coy about it, glancing over at Garrus when he didn’t think he would notice. At first, Garrus entertained the kid, allowing Shepard to stare until it made Garrus so uncomfortable that he had to look at Shepard. Shepard would immediately look away, usually back to his computer, but for a moment Garrus could see the look Shepard was giving him. Like he was in awe of Garrus. Like Garrus  _ meant  _ something to him.

_ The kid keeps giving me weird looks.  _ He texted Liara after he caught Shepard staring at him again.

_ He likes you.  _ Liara replied.

_ Or he can’t believe how ugly turians can be. _

_ You should ask him out on a date ;) _

_ No.  _

Liara was adamant that Shepard felt more for Garrus beyond what was expected between coworkers. Garrus couldn’t believe it. Or rather, didn’t want to believe it. Shepard was a great kid, yeah, and he had definitely brought some light back into Garrus’ life, but he couldn’t do that to the kid. He couldn’t bring him into his cold, lonely world of wishing for things he could never have. He would be lying if he said he didn’t like the way Shepard looked at him. He hadn’t been looked at like that in so long. Hadn’t been wanted in so many years. When he first became Primarch, he was a prize in the turian hierarchy. He was single, came from a good family, and was one of the youngest Primarch’s in turian history. Back then, nearly every available turian gave him that look. But once they realized how closed-off he was, how angry the war had made him, the looks stopped. He was a good Primarch, respected by the turian people, but eligible bachelor? He threw that horse out the airlock a long time ago. To have someone look at him like that again…he definitely felt some pride from it.

And Shepard was…cute.

Garrus hated to admit it, but there it was. He was cute in the way that only humans can be. Asari are serious, salarians are weird, krogans are, well,  _ krogans _ , but humans…. They’re so expressive, wearing every emotion on their face for all to see, and they’re not afraid to express themselves however they please. Some humans are closed-off, but even then they’re still easy to read if one knows how to read them well enough. Shepard was tall and lanky, but he still possessed a childlike innocence and excitement that even made Garrus smile. Well, the turian version of a smile, anyway. Shepard made him feel warm, appreciated, cared for,  _ wanted.  _ And that was just at work. Sometimes they took their lunch breaks together or went out for dinner after work, but that was only after Garrus realized Shepard was flat broke. 

“Just part of being a college student.” Shepard explained with a nonchalant laugh. 

It was weird for Garrus, however, the moment he realized he stopped comparing his new Shepard with  _ his  _ Shepard. At first, it was all he could do, since the similarities were definitely there. Same red hair. Same blue eyes. Same  _ freckles _ , spirits be damned. But, at some point, Garrus stopped comparing the two. Shepard, his  _ new  _ Shepard, was an individual, not a carbon-copy of the Great Commander Shepard he was named after. He liked sweets; he liked tea; he liked video games, and he was actually allergic to fish, unlike the fish-loving Commander Shepard. Shepard had a brightness to him, something he’d never seen before, like he was his own star, a sun in his own star system. And, somewhere along the way, his sun had started to shine in Garrus’ system as well. 

And that terrified Garrus. 

“Garrus?”

Spirits, did Garrus love that voice. So soft. So smooth. So sweet, like the candy Shepard shoves in his face when Nepiria brings some to him. Her mate was a baker, and Nepiria loved to shower Shepard in fresh-baked cookies and cakes. And when he would get little crumbs around his mouth, Garrus wanted to wipe them away with his talons, or his tongue—

_ Focus, Vakarian. _

“Yeah?” Garrus coughed, his voice rough as he found himself lost in his thoughts again. 

“Your meeting with Ambassador Yarmal is supposed to be starting now.” Shepard stated, an amused look on his face. He thought Garrus’ tendency to space out was hilarious, but he never once mocked him for it. “He’s already joined the meeting, we’re just waiting for you.”

“Ah, right, sorry about that.” Garrus mumbled, embarrassed. That was something that had been happening a lot, too. He would lose himself in his thoughts, and when he would think about Shepard, they would go in a direction Garrus hadn’t thought about in years. “I’ll open the link in a second.” he stated, wondering if he would need a glass of cold water to keep himself focused during the meeting. 

ꭥꭥꭥꭥ

Garrus had trouble sleeping.

He never slept well, even before the war, but it was nearly killing him now. He would either have such a bad migraine that he couldn’t fall asleep, or his mandible would hurt so much it would wake him up through the night. His apartment was too quiet. He tried to sleep with the TV or music on to distract him, but it would only remind him of things he needed to get done at work or his obligations as the Primarch of the turian hierarchy. When nothing worked, he would lie in bed and stare up at his ceiling, his thoughts so loud they sounded like screams. Liara told him he should go to the doctor and get a prescription for sleeping pills, but Garrus was afraid if he went to the doctor they would see everything wrong with him and tell him about all the surgeries he needed, or, even worse, the  _ therapy  _ he needed. He had too much pride to take himself to see a therapist. He was a turian. Turians didn’t need therapy.

This night was like any other. He had been staring at his ceiling for hours, trying to get some sleep. Thankfully, his body shut down at some point during the night, sending him into a fitful, restless sleep full of nightmares of the war, of being the Primarch, and of her.

ꭥꭥꭥꭥ

He was back on the Normandy. When was the last time he had even  _ seen  _ the Normandy? Last he heard, it was taken out of commission after the war and put up on display in some Alliance museum on Earth. Had it been two hundred years since he had last been in the Normandy? He was walking through the CIC, seeing vaguely familiar faces working as he walked past. Some looked his way, their faces blurred; he hardly remembered any of the Normandy crew that he didn’t directly interact with. His body seemed to move on its own as he walked towards the elevators, everything around him moving in slow motion.

He rode the elevator up to the top floor, in a daze as he followed the path laid out to him. He entered her cabin, taking in how it looked exactly how he remembered it. Her hamster squeaked and hid in his cage as he entered, an unfinished figurine set littered her desk, a plaque of her achievements displayed next to it, and the soft glow from her fish tank illuminated the room in a bluish hue. He stopped in front of the tank, smiling to himself at the sight of the many species of fish swimming together. At least they stayed alive through all the craziness the Normandy had been through. Shepard took such good care of them.

“You gonna stare at the fish all day, or are you gonna come over here?”

_ Shepard.  _

He had dreamt of her before, plenty of times, but hearing her voice again, clear as day, gave him a start. He turned around to see the couch up against the wall of her cabin, his eyes widening as he saw her sitting there, legs crossed, a glass of wine in her hand, her brow arched and an amused smirk on her face. She still had that mischievous glint in her bright blue eyes, illuminated by the fish tank and the cybernetics within her. She was even more beautiful than the posters in London. Even more remarkable than the statue depicted her as.

“Shepard.” he breathed in a whisper of disbelief.

“Hey, handsome.” she chuckled, taking a sip of her wine. She casually gestured to the space on the couch angled next to the one she was sitting on. “You gonna stand or sit?” she asked. Garrus practically lunged himself at the couch, causing Shepard to laugh as his rough landing jolted her. “Don’t make me spill my wine! This is the good stuff from Illium.”

“You…you’re here.” Garrus whispered.

“This  _ is  _ my cabin, where else would I be?” Shepard smirked, playing Garrus for a fool.

Garrus knew this was a dream. He’d had plenty of dreams like this one, of them together again in her cabin. But everything seemed so…real. She looked, she sounded…. Garrus reached for her, tentatively touching her bare arm. She even  _ felt  _ real.

“Woah there, cowboy, let me finish my drink first.” Shepard chuckled, reaching down to grasp Garrus’ hand in her own, holding their joined hands together in her lap. She was so warm. “Damn, your hands are cold.” she commented, her brows furrowing at the touch.

“You…you feel so… _ real _ .” Garrus thought out loud, staring down at their joined hands. He could feel every twitch of her fingers, every brush of her thumb against his hand. 

“Well, I’m certainly not the Toothfairy.” Shepard shrugged, taking another sip of her wine. She pointed the glass at Garrus. “You want some? I got some dextro-friendly options just for you.” 

“No.” Garrus answered immediately, surprising Shepard. “I want to be sober for this.”

Shepard didn’t comment on Garrus’ odd behavior, instead she shrugged and finished her glass. “Alright, guess I’ll call it quits then, too.” she set her empty glass down on the table in front of her before casually leaning back on the couch, looking at Garrus with an amused smirk. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Shepard.” Garrus warned, a low growl in his subvocals.

“Sorry, sorry.” Shepard laughed, raising her free hand. “Just trying to lighten you up a bit. You look awful.” 

“It’s been really rough without you.” Garrus wasn’t afraid to sound like an idiot in front of Shepard. She was the only person in the entire galaxy that wouldn’t judge him for his shortcomings. Well, recently, there was a second person who didn’t judge him, either.

A sad smile graced Shepard’s face. She squeezed Garrus’ hand. “I know.” she breathed. “I’m sorry.”

Garrus shook his head. “No, Shepard, don’t…don’t blame yourself. You did what you had to do.”

“You’ve been hurting all this time.” it wasn’t a question, but Garrus nodded anyway. “You’ve been in so much pain. It hurts me so much to see you like this.” Shepard admitted, her voice soft and gentle.

“I’m sor—”

“If I don’t get to apologize, then neither do you.” Shepard interrupted. She reached for his other hand, holding both in hers. “I’m glad you went to the statue.”

Garrus lifted his eyes to look at her, surprised. “You…how do you know about that?”

“Would you believe me if I said I was a god now?” Shepard joked, unable to keep herself from laughing as she spoke. “I see all, I know all, and all that other mumbo-jumbo shit.”

Garrus breathed out a laugh, shaking his head. “I’m glad you haven’t changed, Shepard.”

“You’ve changed.” Shepard stated. “And not for the better.”

Garrus looked down at their hands, too embarrassed to look her in the eye at the truth. “Can you blame me?” he mumbled, trying to defend himself.

Shepard sighed. “I know. I wouldn’t have done any better if it had been you that died, and I was still alive.” she admitted. “But…I want you to be happy, Garrus. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” she whispered, moving closer to him on the couch, their legs touching.

Garrus didn’t reply. He had nothing to say.

“Do you remember what I told you? The night before we landed on Earth?” Shepard asked.

Garrus had to think for a moment. He remembered spending his last night with her before Earth, remembered holding her so tightly she complained that she couldn’t breathe. But then he remembered. Her last words to him before she fell asleep.

_ “Garrus?” _

_ “Yeah?” _

_ “Will you promise me something?” _

_ “Depends on how dire the situation is tomorrow.” _

_ “Please?” _

_ “Fine. What is it?” _

_ “I want you to be happy.” _

_ “That’s…vague.” _

_ “You know there’s a good chance I’m going to die.” _

_ “Shepard, don’t say _ — _ ” _

_ “And I want you to promise me you’ll continue on without me. That you’ll find a way to be happy without me.” _

_ “Shepard, I can’t.” _

_ “For me?” _

_ “I can’t imagine a life without you.” _

_ “Please, Garrus. Tell me you’ll be happy if I’m not there. Don’t live in misery just because I can’t be with you.” _

_ “I…” _

_ “Garrus.” _

_ “I’ll try.” _

“You didn’t try.” Shepard accused.

Garrus was shocked. How could he have forgotten that? How could he have forgotten what he promised? It wasn’t a real promise, but he at least promised that he would  _ try  _ for her.

“You gave up the moment you realized I wasn’t coming back. You’ve been killing yourself this whole time, Garrus. You’re trying to die.” Shepard didn’t sound angry, but she sounded hurt. Disappointed. 

“Shepard, you don’t know how hard—”

“Call me by my name.” 

Garrus paused, blinking at her. “What?”

“My name is not Shepard.” she reiterated. “Call me by my name.”

Garrus swallowed. He couldn’t remember if he had ever called her by her given name. “…Jane.” he said meekly.

Shepard smiled, her lips closed. “Good.” she squeezed his hands. “My name is Jane.  _ His  _ name is Shepard.”

Garrus stared at her. Was she talking about…?

“Liara was right.” she continued. “The moment he walked into her office, I knew. He was for you. I sent him to you. The name thing is just a coincidence.” she chuckled under her breath. “You couldn’t make yourself happy on your own, so I sent you someone who could.”

“Why—”

“You needed me.” Shepard interrupted. “You still need me, but I can’t physically be there for you anymore. I’ll always be there for you, I’ll always look out for you, but…” she trailed, looking over at her fish tank, thinking over her next words. She met his gaze again a few moments later. “When you need me most, look at him. He’s just for you, Garrus. Let him in, and let me go.” she reached up to hold his face in her hands, leaning towards him.

A sob wracked out of Garrus when their foreheads touched. He reached forward and grabbed her waist, pulling her to him, holding her close. “Shepard… _ Jane _ …”

“I know.” Shepard whispered, gently rubbing her thumb against the scars on Garrus’ mandible. “You’ve said your goodbye, that’s all I was waiting for. I’ll always watch over you, but you can’t hold on to me anymore. You have to let me go.”

_ “You have to go. That’s an order.” _

“I…I can’t…” Garrus’ voice cracked. His body felt like it was falling apart.

“Please, Garrus, for me?” Shepard sounded so sad, so desperate. 

Garrus hiccuped. Turians couldn’t shed tears, but they could cry. They could feel the same loud, all-encompassing anguish other species’ could. As much as Garrus claimed turians couldn’t, they absolutely could. “Can I…can I stay here with you? Just for one night?” he asked, his voice broken.

He could feel Shepard’s smile against his face. “Yeah.” she whispered, lifting herself off the couch and taking Garrus with her, guiding him towards the bed. “And then, when you wake up, you’ll go to him. He’ll give you what you need. You just have to let him.”

When Garrus was nearly asleep, Shepard softly stroking his face as he closed his eyes, her voice kept him lingering in the state between awake and asleep. “Garrus?”

“Hm?”

“I love you. I always will.”

“I love you, too…Jane.”

ꭥꭥꭥꭥ

When he awoke, he was back in his quiet, lonely apartment in the Embassy. She was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by the ending scene of the Titanic when Rose reunites with Jack and all the other dead people, so yes, those "blurry" faces are those who died while serving on the Normandy :')
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


	7. SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The people at BioWare are cowards for making humans allergic to turian come. This fic does not prescribe to that cowardice.

He was terrified, but he was ready. It was time. 

“Shepard?” Garrus called his intern, who by now had become his partner in human/turian relations in the Embassy. He heard through the Embassy grapevine that the human sector already had their eye on Shepard, and that they were just waiting for him to graduate to swoop in and give him a job offer. It made Garrus proud. 

“Yeah?” Shepard replied, quickly glancing over at Garrus before returning to his work, fiercely typing away at his computer. It was getting late, but Shepard never left the office until Garrus did. 

Garrus was hoping for that. It was almost time for dinner. “I’m just about done with everything for the day, you good?” He asked.

“Yep! Just have to reply to the volus ambassador and then I’ll be good to go…” he trailed, forgetting that he was speaking to Garrus as his brows furrowed and he continued to type. Garrus knew Shepard had a tendency to focus too much on his work, often forgetting to eat or drink until Garrus said something to him.

Garrus swallowed, his talons fidgeting. When was the last time he was this nervous? “Great. It’s, uh…it’s getting late. You gonna head home or get something to eat?” He had eaten dinner with Shepard plenty of times after work, and yet this time it almost felt inappropriate to ask him out for dinner again. The thought of ruining the friendship formed over the last few months was enough to catch his breath. But he needed to do this.

Shepard tilted his head to the side in thought. “Mm, I’m probably gonna get something to-go. The trains aren’t as frequent this late, so I could be waiting for a while.” He explained.

If Garrus had eyebrows, they would furrow in confusion. “What do you mean?” He was under the assumption that Shepard lived with his father in the Embassy living quarters for politicians and other dignitaries. His father  _ was _ a representative after all, and Garrus never asked where Shepard lived in fear of sounding creepy. 

Shepard blinked at him. “I live with some friends in the Wards.” he stated plainly. “I thought I told you that when I first started?”

Oh, spirits,  _ had  _ he? Garrus’ mandible tightened against his jaw. “Oh, uh…yeah. Of course. I just, uh…” 

Shepard smiled at him warmly, not mockingly. Thankfully. “It has been a while since then, hasn’t it? Maybe I meant to tell you, but I forgot.” he shrugged nonchalantly.

_ Or maybe I forgot.  _ This whole “aging” thing was not as easy as Garrus thought it would be. Maybe the salarians were on to something by only living forty years. “Hah. Maybe.” Garrus tried to play it off as coyly as Shepard did, then he remembered why the conversation was brought up. “But I still don’t feel right making you stay late and then making you wait for a train for hours.” his mandible twitched—was he really doing this? “Come have dinner at my place, and if the train is gonna take too long, then…”  _ Already got one foot in the grave, might as well go all in.  _ “you can stay at my place.”

Shepard’s eyes widened and visibly took in a surprised breath. Garrus’ blood ran cold. Liara was wrong, Shep— _ Jane _ was wrong, and he had just ruined the friendship he had with… “I…I wouldn’t want to impose.” he glanced down at his keyboard, his cheeks a light shade of pink. “But I wouldn’t mind some dinner, though.” he admitted shyly.

“It wouldn’t be imposing if I was the one who offered.” had Garrus said that? Without stuttering or taking back what he said? He felt like he was being possessed by someone much braver than he was. “I have plenty of levo-friendly stuff. Well, I have someone who can make it, at least.”

Shepard’s eyes widened. “You…you have a chef?” he asked, incredulous.

Garrus chuckled. “All Embassy personnel do. Well, the important ones, at least.” he explained with a shrug. “I can text him and let him know to make some levo-foods. That is, if you plan on joining me for dinner.” 

“I would be stupid to say no to that.” Shepard admitted, surprising himself by his boldness as he smiled shyly at Garrus, the tips of his ears pink. “I mean, um, I would really appreciate it, Garrus.”

Being a sniper came with some benefits, such as being able to appear calm even if his heart was pounding so heavily he could see his chest moving with it. “It would be very rude of me to make you stay so late without offering something in return.”  _ Wait, that sounded wrong.  _ “I mean, you work so hard as it is, I wouldn’t want to make you think I don’t care about your wellbeing.”  _ Did that even make sense? _

_ Focus, Vakarian. _

Shepard smiled softly at Garrus, still looking shy and embarrassed at the idea of going to Garrus’ apartment for dinner. No one had been to Garrus’ apartment in the Embassy, not even Nepiria. This would look bad if word got out, but Garrus was surprised to find that he didn’t care. “Can…does your chef know how to cook chicken?” Shepard asked quietly.

Garrus’ mandible fluttered in a smile. “I can certainly ask him.”

ꭥꭥꭥꭥ

Dinner ended up being a success, thank the spirits above.

Once Shepard got over his initial shock and shyness of being in Garrus’ apartment, he made himself comfortable. Garrus wasn’t surprised that his turian chef fell in love with Shepard, commenting on how polite he was, and how Garrus should bring him around more often. Garrus wanted to roll his eyes, but he was delighted at Shepard’s ability to get along with everyone he met. It was truly a gift, one that Garrus didn’t have. Garrus agreed with the chef when he commented on how Shepard should eat more after Shepard inhaled his dinner, acting like he hadn’t eaten in months.

“I don’t really have the money to splurge on food.” Shepard admitted as he picked at the last bits of his food, his cheeks pink with embarrassment.

Garrus would have to rectify that. Either by giving him a raise or…by providing food for him. Garrus had to shake that thought away. Giving someone food was a primal turian instinct, one that showed their potential mate that they could provide for them and could take care of them. Those were  _ not  _ the kinds of thoughts Garrus wanted to have at the moment.

When dinner was over, and the chef had left, Garrus and Shepard were alone. Garrus led Shepard to a couch in the living room, explaining that his couches were so comfortable he often slept on them instead of his bed upstairs. It was late, far later than Shepard was used to being up if his droopy eyes and sleepy smile were any indication. Garrus smiled at him, fondly patting the top of his head, feeling his soft curly hair beneath his talons. “You should get some sleep.” he said. He had planned on speaking more with Shepard, but the kid was so tired he was nearly falling asleep while standing. It would have to wait until the morning. “I’ll get some blankets, wait here.” Shepard nodded sleepily at him, even though Garrus didn’t ask a question.

Shepard swayed as Garrus prepared the couch for him. Garrus thought about offering his bed to Shepard and having Garrus take the couch, but the thought of being able to smell Shepard in his pillows was almost too much for him. He laughed when Shepard fell into the couch, seeming to fall asleep instantly.

“Goodnight, Shepard.” Garrus patted his head again, smoothing the soft curly hairs at the top of his head.

“G’night, Garrus.” Shepard mumbled, his eyes closed as he curled up on the couch, smiling happily at how comfortable the makeshift bed was.

Garrus sighed to himself as he walked up the stairs. He could wait until the morning.

ꭥꭥꭥꭥ

Garrus wasn’t surprised that he couldn’t sleep. He lay in his bed, wide awake and staring at the ceiling. This was nothing new, but having Shepard in his apartment definitely didn’t help his insomnia any.

Garrus  _ was  _ surprised when a soft voice called out for him in the dark. “Garrus?”

Garrus looked over at the doorway of his bedroom, seeing the silhouette of Shepard standing there, a blanket draped over his shoulders. “Yeah?” Garrus asked, his voice rough with sleep, even though Garrus hadn’t fallen asleep yet. 

“I…I didn’t thank you for dinner.” Shepard whispered.

Garrus snorted. “You woke up just to tell me that?” he asked, sitting up in bed. He felt awkward in his sleep clothes when Shepard was still in his civilian clothes, covering himself with his sheets as he gestured to Shepard to enter his bedroom. 

“And to thank you for everything else.” Shepard admitted, quietly walking into Garrus’ bedroom, avoiding eye contact with Garrus. He didn’t wait for permission, sitting on the edge of Garrus’ bed, his back to Garrus as he spoke. “You’ve been very kind to me.”

“That’s not the word I would use, but I’ll take it.” Garrus chuckled.

Shepard quickly turned his head to look at him. Garrus knew humans couldn’t see shit in the dark, but turians had good enough eyesight to allow Garrus to see the concerned look on Shepard’s face. “Don’t say that!” he exclaimed, though he kept his voice quiet. “I know it’s been hard for you, but you’ve still been a good friend to me. I just…wanted to thank you for that, is all.”

Garrus wasn’t sure what to make of this. “What brought this on?” he asked.

“I graduate in a month.” Shepard stated. “My internship was only supposed to last through my last semester of school, remember?”

_ Oh.  _ Garrus had grown so accustomed to having Shepard in his office, to having Shepard working with him every day, that he had forgotten that this was only temporary. Shepard would graduate soon, and he would work in the human sector of the Embassy as an ambassador for interspecies relations. “But that’s a good thing, right? You know you’re going to get offered a job in the Embassy the moment you graduate.” Garrus felt very underdressed for this conversation. At least he  _ had  _ worn something to bed that night for the sake of having Shepard in his apartment. He normally slept naked.

“I guess.” Shepard shrugged a shoulder. “But I just wanted to thank you before my internship was up. I didn’t know when I’d have the chance to, since we’re always so busy at work.” he explained.

“I appreciate it, Shepard.” Garrus said, fondly placing a hand on Shepard’s shoulder. Shepard kept his back to him on the bed, but Garrus could still see the profile of his handsome face. “It’s been an honor to have you working with me. I’ll miss you when you’re gone.”

“I’ll give Nepiria the recipe for the tea I make for you. I won’t tell her what it’s for, I’ll just tell her it’s your favorite flavor.” Shepard said, turning to look at Garrus in the dark. “And if there’s a politician you really don’t want to have a meeting with, just send them to me, okay? I’ll tell them I’m meeting with them on your behalf. Interspecies relations and all that.” he smiled, leaning towards Garrus with a sparkle in his eye.

“I appreciate the sentiment, Shepard.” Garrus laughed, dropping his hand from Shepard’s shoulder. “But you don’t have to worry about me, I can take care of myself.”

Shepard’s eyes narrowed, his lips pursing like he wanted to say something but was holding himself back. 

“Something wrong?” Garrus asked, surprising Shepard at how well he could see his facial expressions in the dark. 

“I…” Shepard began. “Forgive me, Garrus, but I don’t think you can take care of yourself very well.”

“Ouch.”

Shepard’s eyes widened once he realized what he said. “Oh! I’m sorry! That came out really badly, didn’t it? Oh God, I’m so sorry, I—”

“Well, you’re not wrong.” Garrus interrupted with a shrug.

“That was really out of line of me, though.” Shepard continued to apologize, scooting closer to Garrus, his blanket falling from his shoulders. “I shouldn’t have said that, I’m really sorry, Gar—”

Shepard shut up when he felt Garrus’ talons on his lips. “It’s fine, Shepard. Like I said, you’re not wrong. I’ve been told that very thing  _ many  _ times before. I believe Liara called it “self-destructive tendencies”.” 

It was then that Garrus realized his talons were on Shepard’s lips, his eyes moving to look down at said lips. The asari would always have the top spot as the most desirable species in the galaxy, but humans had become a close second since they arrived in the rest of the galaxy, and their lips were a favorite among other species. Asari had lips, but they weren’t as soft as humans, weren’t as…gentle. Garrus remembered when he first joined C-Sec and heard other turians talk about their human lovers. Their lips could do amazing things, things that turians couldn’t even dream of. 

Garrus realized he was staring, his talons subconsciously pressing into Shepard’s lips, watching the way the tips dug into the pliant flesh. He quickly pulled them away with a muttered “Sorry.”

“Garrus?” Shepard’s soft voice called once again, bringing Garrus’ attention back to his eyes. Those beautiful, soulful blue eyes. “There’s, um, there’s something else I wanted to tell you, too.” he whispered.

Garrus swallowed. This was it. Shepard was going to reject him. Garrus began to tentatively open his heart back up to someone, and it would get ripped into pieces once again. He wasn’t sure he could go through this a second time. “Y-yeah?” he inquired.

Shepard was quiet for a while, biting his lower lip in thought, his brows furrowed. Garrus hadn’t wanted someone like this in a very long time. Two hundred years was a long time to go without wanting someone this badly. He had forgotten how all-consuming this kind of want was. 

_ Fuck it. _

Shepard squeaked in surprise when Garrus pulled him by the arm, bringing their mouths together. Garrus was glad to find out that kissing was one of those things one doesn’t forget how to do. He kept it gentle—well, as gentle as turians could be with something involving their mouths—nipping Shepard’s lower lip as he pulled away, fighting the instinct to bring their foreheads together.  _ Not now. Not yet. _ “I hope it had something to do with that.” he spoke quietly against Shepard’s lips. He  _ really  _ hoped he hadn’t just fucked everything up.

Shepard threw his arms around Garrus’ neck, throwing his body against Garrus’, surprising Garrus enough that it had him leaning back into the pillows, Shepard’s body partially lying on top of him. Shepard firmly pressed his mouth to Garrus’, using that human enthusiasm that Garrus loved so much to deepen their kiss. “I had no idea kissing a turian would be like that.” Shepard whispered against Garrus’ mouth. 

Garrus’ laugh rumbled low in his throat, and he felt a swell of pride when Shepard visibly shivered above him at the sound. “Turians don’t kiss each other, but humans?” he playfully nipped Shepard’s lip, relishing in the sound of Shepard’s whine. “We  _ definitely  _ enjoy kissing humans.”

“This is already better than what I thought it would be.” Shepard mumbled to himself, but Garrus heard every word.

“Come again?” Garrus asked, smirking to himself. 

Shepard stilled above him, his eyes wide. “Did I say that out loud?” he asked, to which Garrus nodded with a chuckle, and Shepard groaned, lifting himself off of Garrus. “Oh,  _ God _ , that’s so embarrassing, I’m sorry—”

“How did  _ you  _ think it would be?” Garrus asked, unable to stop himself. It had been so long since he was wanted—genuinely wanted—by someone, and it had been even longer since he had wanted someone in return. If he had the chance, then he would enjoy every part of it. 

Shepard’s face was burning such a bright red it almost illuminated in the darkness. “I…I thought you would reject me, to be honest.” he admitted, fidgeting his fingers in his lap. “I didn’t think…I thought there was no way in hell that you could…” he trailed, at a loss for words. 

Garrus sat up, moving closer to Shepard. The sheets fell from his body, and he was once again thankful he had the decency to wear clothes that night. “Glad to see we were both thinking the same thing.” he spoke quietly, his subvocals rumbling with want, but Shepard couldn’t hear them. 

Shepard was visibly surprised, his lips parting as he took in the confession. “Really?” He squeaked.

Garrus hummed, nodding. “I had planned on bringing this up after dinner, but you were so tired. I figured I would wait until morning, but someone had other ideas.” He chuckled, his knuckles gently brushing Shepard’s arm.

The corners of Shepard’s mouth turned up in a small smile, a hopeful look on his face. “I was tired, I’ll admit, but during the night my brain realized where I was and forced me to wake up and come to you. I just…I didn’t want to leave without telling you how I felt. Even if you rejected me, I at least wanted to get it off my chest.” He admitted, still fidgeting his fingers on his lap. “But I…I was so certain you wouldn’t feel the same way.”

“It hasn’t been easy,” Garrus spoke. “coming to terms with this. I never thought I’d feel this way for someone else again. Not after…” he trailed, not wanting to bring her up. It would be rude to make Shepard feel like he would always come second to her, to make him feel like he was just a replacement.

“It’s okay.” Shepard placed one hand on top of Garrus’. “You can talk about her.” 

“I shouldn’t.” Garrus replied, ignoring how wonderful it felt to feel Shepard’s hand on his own, like it was meant to be there. “It wouldn’t be fair to you.” 

Shepard smiled softly at him. “She was important to you. It wouldn’t be fair of  _ me  _ to make you feel like you had to forget about her.” 

Spirits, he really was wonderful.  _ Just what I needed _ . “Maybe some other time, but for now…” Garrus gripped Shepard’s hand, pulling him closer. “I wouldn’t mind going back to what we were doing before.” 

Shepard’s smile widened, his face lighting up with it as he let himself be pulled forward. “Not gonna lie, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this.” 

“Oh, really?” Garrus chuckled, marveling at how well Shepard fit against him, Shepard moving to straddle his waist. He held Shepard’s hips, talons gently digging into the soft flesh. “Care to share?”

Shepard’s blush was back, but he soldiered on. “I, um, I may or may not have watched human/turian porn.” He admitted. 

“Oh?” Garrus inquired, leaning forward to mouth at Shepard’s neck, his teeth barely grazing the hot skin, feeling Shepard’s pulse on his tongue. “Did they give you any ideas?”

Shepard whined, wrapping his arms around Garrus’ neck. “ _ Mm _ , I,  _ nn _ , I think it’s easier if the human is,  _ ah _ , on top.” He spoke as Garrus continued to gently bite and nibble at his neck. His short fingernails dug into the sensitive skin of Garrus’ neck, causing Garrus to moan low in his throat. 

“You wanna ride me?” Garrus asked, smirking at the sound of Shepard’s desperate whine as he frantically nodded his head. “We can do that. I wouldn’t mind watching you on my cock, taking what you wanted from me.” Thankfully, Garrus lost his awkwardness when he was aroused. 

“Oh,  _ God _ ,” Shepard gasped, tilting his head as Garrus mouthed at the front of his throat, licking a long stripe up from his jugular to his jawline. “I  _ need  _ that tongue on me.”

Garrus hummed in satisfaction, his subvocals growling in arousal. “It’s already on you.” He teased, gently nibbling on Shepard’s earlobe. It was unfortunate that he had to take precaution with humans, careful not to bite too hard or scratch too deep, but Shepard’s little whines and gasps more than made up for that inconvenience. 

“N- _ no _ !” Shepard whined, testing the limits on how deep he could dig his nails into Garrus’ skin on his neck. When Garrus groaned in approval, he dug his nails in harder. “I mean, I want it…” he trailed off with a moan as Garrus moved to the other side of his neck, licking and biting the sensitive skin there. 

Garrus huffed out a laugh. “I know. I’ll give you whatever you want. However you want me, I’m yours.” His hands trailed from Shepard’s hips to his ass, cupping his backside through his jeans. “But you’ll have to take these off first.”

Shepard practically launched himself off of Garrus, moving to the empty side of the bed to shed his clothes off in record time. Garrus laughed at his enthusiasm as he stripped off his own clothing, though he did it much slower than Shepard did. “And here I thought I’d get a show.” He teased.

“Next time.” Shepard grumbled, and Garrus’ heart soared at the idea.  _ Next time.  _ This would happen again. Shepard  _ wanted  _ him enough to stay with him. It was nearly enough to make him lose his focus, but Garrus turned his focus on Shepard’s now nude body, humming low in approval. Shepard smirked, laying in the center of the bed, getting comfortable against the pillows. “Like what you see?” He asked, arching his back and spreading his legs, running his hands up his slim thighs. Presenting himself.

“Perfect.” Garrus purred, moving to sit in between Shepard’s legs, brushing Shepard’s hands out of the way to run his own hands up Shepard’s thighs. Shepard gasped as Garrus trailed up towards his core, stopping just when the tips of his talons touched his folds. “You’re perfect.” He mumbled quietly, his eyes on Shepard’s slim waist, creamy thighs, and, right there ready for him, his sex. 

Shepard whimpered, grabbing Garrus’ wrists. “ _ More _ ,” he pleaded, his big blue eyes hazy with arousal and begging Garrus to pleasure him.

And Garrus would be a fool to say no to  _ that _ . 

Garrus leaned forward to bring their mouths together, Garrus slipping his tongue past Shepard’s lips, moaning quietly when their tongues tangled together. Shepard’s hips bucked up on their own accord, trying to force Garrus’ hands on his sex, but Garrus ignored him, sliding his hands up to trail the outline of his hips, waist, and chest, smiling to himself at the freckles spotted throughout his body.  _ So cute _ . Garrus trailed Shepard’s neck with his tongue, moving down towards his chest, his subvocals humming as Shepard gasped from his touch. 

Shepard moaned and tilted his head back into the pillows when Garrus lavished a perky pink nipple with his tongue, teasing the bud with the tip of his tongue. He couldn’t suck on it like he wanted to, but his tongue could make Shepard feel just as good. Pleasing his partners with his tongue was something Garrus prided himself on. He watched Shepard’s face as he continued to lick and tease his nipple, relishing in the sight of Shepard’s parted lips, soft moans and gasps escaping him as he twisted and writhed beneath him. Garrus teased Shepard’s other nipple with his hand, twisting the bud between his talons and pulling on the sensitive skin until Shepard arched beneath him, a broken cry escaping him as his brows furrowed in pain and pleasure. 

Garrus continued downward, licking and kissing and biting Shepard’s soft flesh as he went. Shepard’s hands moved to Garrus’ fringe, uncertain if that was an okay thing to do or not. Garrus helped him out, grabbing Shepard’s hands and placing them just below his fringe on either side of his face. “It feels better right here. Our skin is the most sensitive beneath the fringe.” He explained, and Shepard wasted no time in gripping the sensitive skin, causing Garrus to groan low in his throat. “ _ Yeah _ , just like that.” He breathed. 

Shepard kept a tight grip on Garrus as he settled between his thighs, gripping his thighs to push them further apart. He wanted to see  _ everything _ . Shepard jolted when Garrus slid two talons between his folds, his subvocals growling when he realized how wet Shepard already was. “ _ Mm _ ,” he hummed, slowly rubbing Shepard’s swollen clit. “already so wet.” He mused to himself.

“ _ Ah _ , been…been wanting this…for so long…” Shepard breathed, his eyes squeezed shut and his head tilted back into the pillows. 

Garrus’ mandible flicked, slowly rubbing between the wet folds, entranced by how  _ perfect  _ Shepard was. “Yeah?” He asked, his voice low and rough. “Did you think about this at work? About me bending you over the desk and fucking you right there?” Spirits knows Garrus did.

“Yes!” Shepard cried, fingers digging into Garrus’ skin. “Wanted you…so bad…”

“Well, now you’ve got me.” Garrus affirmed. He would definitely fuck Shepard on his desk before he left. “You wanted my tongue, right?” Garrus chuckled when Shepard whined, rapidly nodding his head in reply. Garrus said nothing more. He reached under Shepard to grip his ass, lifting him up slightly so Garrus had a better angle. Garrus’ mouth watered at the sight of Shepard’s glistening cunt. Now,  _ this _ , Garrus knew how to do. 

Shepard cried and his back arched when Garrus slid his tongue up in one smooth stroke, stopping at his clit to teasingly flick the tip of his tongue against the bud. He teased Shepard’s clit until he whined and bucked against him, pleading for more. Garrus slid the base of his tongue against his clit, humming in approval at the sweet taste. Humans were so  _ addicting.  _ He continued to lavish Shepard’s sex, worshipping him like the spirit-given gift he was as Shepard writhed and bucked beneath him, moaning and crying when Garrus rubbed firmly against his clit with his tongue, increasing speed as he tasted more juices flowing from his hole.  _ Speaking of…  _ Garrus moved away from Shepard’s drenched cunt, rubbing a soothing hand up his thigh when Shepard whined in confusion. Garrus said nothing as he quickly bit off the tips of his talons, cutting them short and harmless.

“O-oh yeah…that…that would’ve hurt.” Shepard breathed. Garrus looked up to see Shepard watching him with hooded eyes, a dazed look on his face. 

Garrus chuckled close to Shepard’s sex, the sound vibrating against his hot, sensitive skin. Shepard moaned at the feel. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you.” he mumbled as he slid two freshly clipped talons into Shepard’s hole with ease, Shepard’s slickness and arousal making it easy for him. Garrus moaned low in his throat at the feel of the smooth walls tightening around his talons. Shepard moaned loudly, the satisfying feeling of being penetrated washing over him as his head fell back onto the pillows. “ _ Spirits _ ,” Garrus gasped. His cock had been threatening to slip from his pelvic plates since Shepard first kissed him, but the feel of Shepard’s velvety walls around his talons, imagining how it would feel around his cock was too much. Garrus grunted when his cock fell heavily from his plates, already wet and throbbing with desire. 

“ _ O-Oh _ !” Shepard gasped when Garrus curled his talons upward, rubbing against the spot inside that made his walls tighten and his toes curl. Garrus’ tongue returned to his clit, licking and teasing the swollen bud as his talons wasted no time in fucking him, quickening his pace as Shepard’s hips rolled and bucked into his mouth. Garrus lifted up to his knees to relieve some pressure on his cock, the heavy tapered member hanging heavily between his thighs. Shepard must have noticed Garrus’ cock, for his fingers tightened on the skin under Garrus’ fringe. “G-Garrus, I wanna…”

“Hmm?” Garrus hummed in question, glancing up at Shepard’s hazy gaze as he rolled his fingers into him and his tongue rubbed against his clit. 

“I wanna…” Shepard tried again, whining in frustration when he couldn’t get the words out properly. “I wanna… _ your cock _ .”

Garrus playfully nipped at Shepard’s folds as he pulled away, his talons slowing to a lazy thrust. “Use your words, Shepard.”

“I wanna…I wanna suck your cock.” Shepard breathed, pulling Garrus up by his fringe to lean over him. “ _ Please _ .” he whined.

Garrus had to control himself from holding Shepard down and shoving his cock down his throat.  _ What a sweet boy.  _ “Well, it would be very rude of me to turn down such a polite request.” he chuckled, bringing his mouth to Shepard’s, their tongues tangling as they found their rhythm together. Shepard moaned at the taste of himself on Garrus’ tongue, making Garrus’ cock throb. 

Garrus maneuvered Shepard as he laid on his back, bringing Shepard to lie over him. Once Shepard realized what Garrus was doing, he turned around and got settled on Garrus’ body, his face to Garrus’ cock and his sex to Garrus’ face. Garrus hummed to himself at the sight of Shepard’s wet, swollen sex. “So pretty.” he mumbled to himself, sliding his talons between the wet folds. It took awhile for Garrus to get used to human anatomy, but once he did, he could see the beauty in human bodies, and Shepard was without a doubt the most beautiful human he had ever seen.

Garrus groaned and his mandible flicked uncontrollably when he felt a wet mouth on his cock, Shepard’s tongue sliding over the tapered head and tasting the bead of precome that had already formed. Shepard moaned happily at the taste and eagerly lapped his tongue for more. Apparently, turian come tasted  _ very  _ good to humans. Shepard wrapped his soft lips around the head of Garru’s cock, his tongue sliding against the sensitive flesh. Garrus knew turian cocks were very different compared to human cocks—the biggest difference being human cocks were round and smooth and turian cocks were ridged and tapered at the end—but apparently Shepard didn’t mind considering how enthusiastic he was as he licked and sucked his way down.

Garrus let out a throaty laugh when Shepard rolled his hips against Garrus’ face, demanding Garrus get back to worshipping his sex. Garrus grasped Shepard’s ass in his hands, digging into the soft flesh and Garrus’ tongue lavished Shepard’s sex once more, sliding the base of his tongue in one firm stroke from clit to hole. Garrus teased Shepard’s clit again, flicking the tip of his tongue over the hardened bud, smirking to himself at Shepard’s whine, which was muffled by Garrus’ cock in his mouth. Garrus groaned in approval when Shepard took more of his cock in his mouth, his cheeks hollowing and his tongue smoothly sliding along the hard flesh, eagerly drinking Garrus’ precome as it leaked from the slit. 

Shepard squealed in surprise when Garrus slid his tongue into his wet hole, Garrus’ cock falling from his lips as he moaned loudly at the feeling. “Oh my  _ God _ …” he breathed, rocking his hips against Garrus’ face as his tongue slid further inside. Shepard pumped Garrus’ cock in his hand, biting his lip and squeezing his eyes shut at the feeling of Garrus’ tongue thrusting into him, curling his tongue to hit his spot. Shepard’s eyes rolled back, his head tilting back in pleasure. “Oh, oh Garrus, holy shit, oh  _ fuck _ !” he cried.

Garrus’ subvocals growled in desire, his deepest turian instincts proud that he could please his lover—his  _ mate _ —so well. Shepard tasted so  _ good _ , like the sweetest nectar from the sweetest fruit in the galaxy, his walls tightening and pulsing around his tongue. Shepard’s mouth returned to Garrus’ cock, his head eagerly bobbing up and down on his cock, his lips tight around the hard flesh and his tongue eagerly giving back as much pleasure as Garrus was giving him. Shepard continued to moan and whine around his cock, the vibrations tingling Garrus’ body. The one benefit of getting older, Garrus realized, was that he could last longer in bed. If he had been a hundred years younger, Garrus was certain he would have shot his come down Shepard’s throat by now. Which, as  _ wonderful  _ of a visual that was, Garrus didn’t want the night to end yet, not before he felt Shepard’s velvety walls around his cock.

Shepard apparently had the same idea. “Garrus,  _ mm _ , if you keep— _ ah! _ —if you keep doing that, I’m gonna… _ oh, God _ …” Shepard said breathlessly as he moved his lips away from Garrus’ cock and used his hand to pump the heated flesh instead. 

“ _ Yeah _ ,” Garrus growled, unable to say much else in his hazy state of arousal. “Want you on my cock.” he spoke, his voice low with desire.

Shepard moved on top of Garrus’ body, his legs shaky from the intense pleasure Garrus was giving him. Garrus helped Shepard move with a smirk, his chest swelling with pride at the sight of Shepard breathless and eager for more. Shepard held Garrus’ cock in his hands, stroking it slowly as he gazed down at it in awe. Garrus hummed at the sight of his cock in Shepard’s hands, seeing the comparison to Shepard’s lean body and his heavy cock. “It’s so big.” Shepard whispered to himself.

Garrus’ mandible fluttered at the praise. “Wait ‘til it’s in you.” he growled, his talons tightly gripping Shepard’s hips.

Shepard bit his lip at the statement, his eyes glassy and unfocused as he glanced up at Garrus. “I want it in me,” he breathed. “so bad.”

“How do you want it?” Garrus asked as he helped Shepard lift himself up over his cock, his body tense with anticipation of feeling Shepard’s tight walls around him. “I can be gentle, if you want.” He didn’t want to, oh no, he wanted to  _ fuck  _ Shepard good and hard—the turian way. But he could be soft, he could be gentle, if that’s what his mate wanted.

Shepard cried, his head tilting back and his eyes closed as he slowly sunk down onto Garrus’ cock. Garrus growled, his talons digging so hard into Shepard’s hips he was certain he would leave bruises, his jaw clenching at the feel of Shepard’s impossibly tight walls around him. Garrus laid as still as he could, ignoring his instinctual need to  _ thrust _ , allowing Shepard to adjust to his size as Shepard panted above him.

Finally, Shepard spoke, his voice strained and quiet. “ _ Hard _ .” he demanded.

And Garrus happily gave that to him.

Shepard gripped Garrus’ forearms, his short fingernails digging into the tough turian skin as he rolled with Garrus’ thrusts, moaning and crying as Garrus wasted no time in roughly thrusting into him. Shepard allowed Garrus to use him as he wanted, enjoying the rough treatment he was getting. “Oh,  _ Garrus _ !” he cried.

Garrus’ mandible flicked in satisfaction. “You like that?” he breathed, his voice strained as he pounded into Shepard’s tight hole, grunting at the feel of Shepard’s tight walls constricting around his hard cock, the ridges of his cock rubbing against Shepard’s walls in such a way it nearly made Shepard scream in pleasure. Garrus chuckled. He had no idea his sweet little human could be so  _ loud _ . 

Shepard nodded fiercely at Garrus’ question, rolling his hips down to meet Garrus’ harsh thrusts. “ _ So good… _ ” he whispered, whimpering as the ridges of Garrus’ cock rubbed against the spot inside of him, the pleasure of it sending shock waves throughout his body. Shepard arched his back, Garrus reaching up to support him with a hand at his lower back as his cunt was pounded into. “It’s so good, Garrus…” he breathed.

“Better than you thought it would be?” Garrus chuckled, sliding his other hand up Shepard’s body, stopping at his chest to pinch and rub at a perky nipple, feeling it harden beneath his talons. Garrus’ cock was so hard to where it nearly hurt, Shepard’s walls soothing his hot flesh as they tightened and contracted around him.

“ _ So  _ much better, oh my God…” Shepard whispered, barely able to speak as Garrus rolled his hips into him, fucking him hard, exactly how Shepard wanted it. Shepard’s eyes watered with the intense pleasure, his cheeks flushed and his bottom lip sore from how hard he was biting it as he whimpered and moaned from Garrus’ hard thrusts.

Garrus slid the hand that was playing with Shepard’s nipple up to his jawline, gently cupping the side of Shepard’s face in his hands. Shepard gripped Garrus’ wrist, looking down at him with hazy, watery eyes, those big blue eyes full of lust and adoration. Garrus moaned low in his throat at the sight, Shepard’s hooded eyes and flushed face, his body taking all Garrus had to give to him. His cunt was soaked, both from his own slick and Garrus’ natural lubrication, the swollen flesh happily taking Garrus’ thick cock, Shepard whimpering as Garrus’ hips rolled hard thrusts into him. “You’re perfect.” Garrus rumbled.  _ Just for me. _

Shepard’s eyes squeezed shut, biting his lip as his walls tightened even more around Garrus, making Garrus groan at the feeling. His cock could barely leave Shepard’s tight cunt, his hips pistoning short thrusts into Shepard. Shepard reached down with his free hand to rub his clit, his head tilting back at the double stimulation. Shepard rocked his hips into Garrus’, more out of sheer pleasure than rolling into Garrus’ thrusts, his swollen lips parting as a hymn of moans and whimpers escaped him. Garrus reached up into that mop of unruly red hair, gripping the strands tightly between his talons; he knew some humans liked to have their hair pulled, and Shepard was no exception. Garrus watched as Shepard’s hand rapidly rubbed his clit, his body jolting with the pleasure Garrus was giving him. Shepard cried out as Garrus tightened his grip on his hair, his eyes opening momentarily before rolling back, a long moan escaping from his parted lips as he let his head be pulled back in Garrus’ grip.

Garrus eyed Shepard’s bare neck with hungry desire. He wanted to bite the tender skin there. His body ached to sink his teeth into Shepard’s soft flesh, to mark Shepard as  _ his _ . The mark from the bite wouldn’t last long, but it would be enough to send the right message. Garrus wanted to keep Shepard in his apartment, in his bed, until Garrus’ scent overpowered Shepard’s. Then every turian in the Embassy would know Shepard was  _ claimed _ . Everyone in the turian sector adored the Primarch’s intern and eagerly awaited until Shepard was part of the Embassy so they could interact with him more, but their plans on charming Shepard would be ruined once they smelled Garrus on him. Then they would know. Shepard was already mated. He  _ belonged  _ to the turian Primarch, the most powerful turian in all the turian hierarchy. 

Garrus moaned, tilting his head back as his hips stuttered. He couldn’t hold on anymore. The thought of claiming Shepard, of  _ mating  _ him, was too much. “Shepard…” he whispered.

He opened his eyes as Shepard let out the sweetest little whimper he had ever heard. Garrus watched as Shepard’s body tensed, his pussy tightening around his cock before pulsing erratically, Shepard letting out a string of moans and cries as his hips rocked uncontrollably, his grip on Garrus’ arms tightening as he came on Garrus’ cock. “Oh, Garrus,  _ Garrus _ !” he cried as his cunt milked Garrus’ cock, taking all the pleasure he wanted from Garrus.

Garrus moaned, his eyes half-lidded as he watched Shepard come on his cock, slowing his thrusts to drag out his orgasm. “ _ Spirits… _ ” he whispered, watching Shepard in awe, like he was in the presence of a god. Which, at that moment, Shepard  _ was  _ a god to Garrus. One that deserved to be adored and worshipped until the end of time.

Shepard squealed in overstimulation as Garrus picked up the pace again, chasing his orgasm once Shepard had calmed down enough from his. Garrus’ body convulsed when his orgasm hit him so hard it felt like a punch to his lower stomach, his cock pulsing as it spilled hot come inside Shepard. Garrus moaned at the feel of something hot and tight around him as he came, his hips slowing as he tried to enjoy his orgasm for as long as he could, running his hands up and down Shepard’s body in adoration of his utterly  _ perfect  _ human. 

When they both calmed down from their high, Garrus and Shepard were left breathing heavily. Shepard had a dopey smile on his face as he leaned down to kiss Garrus, draping his body over Garrus’ as their tongues slowly tangled together. Shepard moaned softly, carefully holding Garrus’ mandibles so as not to hurt the scarred one. “That was amazing.” Shepard whispered against Garrus’ mouth. He subconsciously rubbed his body against Garrus’, lazily humping Garrus’ softening cock in post-orgasmic bliss. “I’ve never come that hard before.” he chuckled breathlessly.

Garrus let out a throaty laugh, running his hands up Shepard’s soft back and sides. “It was great.  _ You  _ were great.” he praised, gently scratching Shepard’s scalp with his talons, to which Shepard practically purred and buried his face into Garrus’ neck. 

“I’m so happy.” Garrus could feel Shepard’s smile against his neck as he spoke. “I definitely did not see this being the outcome of me spilling my feelings to you.” he laughed quietly against Garrus’ neck.

Garrus wrapped one arm around Shepard’s back, squeezing gently as he continued to massage Shepard’s scalp. “Believe me, neither did I.” his mandible fluttered in happiness. “But I’m glad.” he admitted.

Shepard hummed, whimpering softly as Garrus’ cock slipped out of him and slid back between his plates, leaving him empty. “I’m glad, too.” he wriggled his hips against Garrus’ as the combined wetness of his and Garrus’ come pooled out of him. “ _ Ngh _ , but I’m  _ not  _ happy about that.” he grimaced at the feeling.

Garrus laughed. “You need a shower?”

“Will you go with me?” Shepard asked.

Garrus snorted. “I’d be stupid not to.” Garrus gripped Shepard’s forearms as he moved away from him, causing Shepard to look at him with a puzzled expression on his face. “You…was this a one time thing, or…?” Garrus hated asking it, but he needed to know. He needed to prepare himself for heartbreak, for Shepard to leave him in the morning and pretend like nothing happened.

But instead of breaking his heart, Shepard smiled that warm, beautiful smile that made his eyes sparkle. Garrus’ mandible fluttered at the sight of it. “Of course not. If I had it my way we would never leave this bed, but alas, I’ll just have to settle for keeping you with me all the time instead as a…” Shepard then bit his lip, a shy look on his face. “as a boyfriend, maybe? Would that be okay?”

Garrus’ subvocals sang in happiness. He would  _ love  _ that. “I would like that.”

Shepard beamed at him, leaning down to kiss him. “Good. Now, feel free to parade me around as your cute human boyfriend, okay?” he giggled, which was  _ not  _ a sound Garrus had ever heard from Shepard before. 

Garrus hummed. “I will.”

Shepard smiled and moved away from him after one last kiss, intent on getting a shower. He held Garrus’ hand as he led them into the bathroom. “Oh, and Garrus?” Shepard looked behind him, barely able to see Garrus in the dark.

“Yeah?”

“As your boyfriend, I’m there for you whenever you need me, alright?” he proclaimed. “Even when I’m not working in your office anymore, you can still count on me. When you need me most, I’ll be there for you.”

_ When you need me most, look at him. _

  
Garrus had to control himself from falling onto his knees to worship Shepard more. He didn’t know what he did to deserve such a wonderful human—to deserve  _ two  _ wonderful humans in his lifetime—but he was grateful for it. He squeezed Shepard’s hands, noticing that his hands hadn’t felt this warm in a long time. “Thank you, Shepard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short epilogue: Shepard gets a job in the human sector of the Embassy, moves in with Garrus (and subsequently never goes hungry again, bless), and they all live happily ever after :')
> 
> Thanks for reading, and thanks for all the kudos and comments! It really means a lot to me <3


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